You know I missed number 4. That ‘shit I said’ list was apparently so lame, I didn’t even post it. Nobody cared. Nobody noticed. What I need is some decent stalkers who pay attention! Pay’s lousy and it’s pretty dull, but the position’s open.
Just avoided an internet argument by using my ‘Shield of Who the Fuck Cares What You Think’ disguised as my ‘Shield of Maturity’
Well, I do hope your cock is pleasantly shaped, good Sir, for I really am quite particular and unpleasantly shaped cocks simply will not do!
I’m in a horde of zombies (not quite happy with that collective noun: a resurrection of zombies? a limbo of zombies? a shamble of zombies?)!
It’s fresh, it’s clean, it’s shiny! We must sully it with ridiculousness!
Oh look, A THING ON THE INTERNET!!
…what if humans are now underground rat-creatures eking out a living on roots and dirt, having evolved in the apocalyptic aftermath of the destruction of the environment beyond everyone’s imaginings.
Sometimes I wish I was someone else so I could just watch my face when shit like this happens. I’ll bet it’s hellishly funny.
Oh internet: the place where real life names don’t even count any more!
If I was a serial killer, I’d totally use this font. For, like, creepy notes and such. I’d have to get a stencil made for doing it on walls in blood and all that though. Being a serial killer is a lot of trouble when you are concerned with finding the right font.
At that point, my internal narrator goes “…aaaannnnnddd THERE it is! She’s with us now…” *applause… crowd goes wild…*
There’s a fifth one now: Nigel. War, famine, pestilence, death, and Nigel.
…when you said ‘I’m only 23’, I heard a very sweet version of ‘stop eyeing me off like I’m a piece of prime rib, old lady, you are creeping me out’ which is a fair enough thing to say, frankly.
Faint and feint of e-potentials both work for me, though given my recent experiences ‘feint’ is probably better *smile*. A mirage, a foolery, no no… a mockery *laugh*. I’m all pleased with myself over that last one *smug*.
I demand champagne and cute naked boys backstage and you’ll have to get your PR people to contact my PR people who will go over the questions in advance to vet them so that we don’t have those awkward moments that follow questions like “How come you’re such an insufferable bitch?”