I bought all the dicks!!

Today I ordered a bag of dicks *laugh* (seriously, am I 13 years old that I am sniggering at that?).

If you hurry, you can get some too – Tantus grab bag: wonderful quality and super cheap for 72 hours. Go!!
Edited to add: The sale is over now. You can still click the link above and find some bargains, but no longer the super duper bargains I was pimping.

I bought these:

vamp
Tantus Vamp
Tantus Echo
Tantus Echo
Tantus leisure
Tantus Leisure

This purchasing frenzy is completely divorced from the fact that I have no-one to use them on, or with.

I’m funny with sex toys because I really don’t use them much when I masturbate. I am a chronically unimaginative wanker. For real.

I keep thinking to myself “I should do a whole afternoon, a bunch of toys, and just play”, but I don’t.

When I masturbate, usually at least once a day, I seriously just want to get off and be done.

It’s functional, clit-focussed, I come, and ‘right, done now’…

It’s hardly the hours-long wankfest that other women seem to enjoy. If I’m really horny, I’ll just masturbate multiple times during the day, but each time is still kind of short and to the point. I don’t have hugely long self-loving sessions with a bunch of toys, a lot of lube, and me lolling about all sexy-like wondering what sort of self-pleasuring to do next.

If I could be bothered I’d work on that. But really, what I want is someone ELSE to come here and work on that.

Fix that for me would you?

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19 Comments

  1. “If I could be bothered I’d work on that. But really, what I want is someone ELSE to come here and work on that.

    Fix that for me would you?”

    Be careful what you ask for, you may not like who responds with offering to help with that issue. *grins mischievously* Especially since you aren’t a lesbian anymore and all. :D

    Respectfully,
    mysticlez

  2. The Leisure is the first toy we bought specifically for Jalan pegging me, and it was a good choice. Long enough to work with a harness (though she usually prefers to push with her thigh), and shaped and sized well for anal for a relative novice.

    Have fun!

    1. I just got the shipping confirmation and the Leisure wasn’t in it. I sent them an email, but I can see on the web page that it’s out of stock, so I guess I missed out.

      I was loving that one for exactly the reason you state – perfect novice pegging cock.

      *sad face*

      Ferns

  3. “It’s functional, clit-focussed, I come, and ‘right, done now’”

    I hear ya! Until I got my first wand, I was happiest with no toys at all. The wand though was just so much more efficient.

    1. As a chronically unimaginative wanker who also owns a wand, I can tell you, it’s also all about efficiency for me. Lol I just want to get it done. I keep thinking I’ll find a toy that’ll change my mind though. I have hope!

    2. @WickeMaggie, @Mistress Lilyana: *laugh* Glad to hear it’s not just me!

      I have never been into vibrators, and I’m a little scared of them because the motion can’t be replicated by hands or fingers or tongues.

      When I was young, I had to work pretty hard to wean myself off the feeling of running water to get off. I don’t want to go through that again with vibrators.

      Ferns

  4. * I am a chronically unimaginative wanker.*
    *When I masturbate, usually at least once a day, I seriously just want to get off and be done.*

    I think you are a CHRONIC WANKER ! Just kidding, though I used to masturbate once a day as well, probably since I discovered masturbation, and since I’ve cut it down to once a week my sessions have been feeling much more fulfilling.

    Not that you should care about my wanking habits, but it’s a post about wanking so fuck it.

    1. Chronic Wanker?! Bitch puhleeze! *giggles* Okay I stole that bitch puhleeze but seriously if once a day is a chronic wanker then I need to be categorized up there with Charlie Sheen and admitted into sex rehab! Cause I so far exceed once daily most of the time. I have a healthy libido..and with a partner I have been told many times I think about sex too much..but with a partner to me it isn’t just sex.

      Respectfully,
      mysticlez

    2. @Sundsvall: *laugh* Chronic wanker?!! Come on!! Once a day is pretty standard, no?

      “I’ve cut it down to once a week my sessions have been feeling much more fulfilling.”

      It *definitely* doesn’t work that way for me. I wonder how much of a boy-thing that is.

      “Not that you should care about my wanking habits, but it’s a post about wanking so fuck it.”

      If you were fucking it, you wouldn’t need to wank!

      Ferns

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