Sex aggression energy

The gym is not busy, mid morning. The session is fine. Nothing special. Drop sets. Chest, back, arms. I’m lifting heavier than I have before. This makes me happy.

I work hard enough to get kitten arms, where everything trembles, right down to the tips of my fingers which shake when I enter stats into the app I use.

I finish and feel a build up of energy as I get water, mix up a protein shake. It’s a feeling that I get rarely from workouts, but I recognise it.

I crackle with energy, it fills the spaces inside me, radiating out to the points where my body meets the world, and it has nowhere to go from there. Tiny hairs on my arms stand out, it makes my dick hard, my already exhausted muscles tense with it.

It’s aggression and sex and it feels like it wants out of my chest, blossoming out in shock waves, silent sonic booms.

I want to close my fingers around some beautiful boy’s neck and run him backwards full tilt until I smash him into a wall. Feel the grunt as the air leaves his body, the crack of his skull against the immovable object. To snarl in his face and shove up against him, desperate to feel his hot skin against me, to hold back the instinct to bite his lips right off his face, to see that combination of fear and desire and confusion. To let loose fists and digging fingers and teeth, and shock him into surrender, to come undone in the strength of his beauty.

I curse that I don’t have someone to aim this energy at. It will dissipate, quietly, a slow release, a hissing, a drop, and then it will be gone.

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16 Comments

  1. Just reading it makes my heart beat faster… If only I lived about 9000 miles closer. *sigh*

    Oh well, at least I’ll be heading off to work with a smile.

    1. Yes, well, I find geography to be inconvenient a lot of the time. Stupid big-sized earth!

      I’m glad I could give you a smile with which to be heading off to work, though.

      Ferns

  2. “I crackle with energy, it fills the spaces inside me, radiating out to the points where my body meets the world, and it has nowhere to go from there. Tiny hairs on my arms stand out, it makes my dick hard, my already exhausted muscles tense with it.”

    Sometimes I think that’s my default setting! LOL

    Though usually for me, it goes the other way. I’ve never managed to dissipate the energy on it’s own. So I tend to use a strenuous workout to help burn it off.

    1. I *wish* it was my default setting, that would be so amazing!

      It’s really unusual for me to get that feeling unless I am inspired by someone who triggers it (that is, I have a target for it).

      *Very* rarely, I get it after the gym, but I have no idea why it happens. If I felt like that after every workout, I’d be MUCH more motivated to go!

      Ferns

      1. “I *wish* it was my default setting, that would be so amazing!

        It’s really unusual for me to get that feeling unless I am inspired by someone who triggers it (that is, I have a target for it).”

        Color me likewise envious of WickedMaggie! I’m much like you. I almost always have to have something that inspires the feeling in me. Though I have occasionally felt it when discussing particular kinks even in a general way. I can feel it radiating out of me. And I know I’m not just imagining it either. I have had several different people literally back up and later mention I was “glowing” (yes, every one of them used the exact same word) when I was talking about X.

        I get that feeling when inspired by a target or during a scene as well. But I think it would be a beautiful thing to have access to that energy all the time.

      2. “But I think it would be a beautiful thing to have access to that energy all the time.”

        Yes, and powerful! To be able to just turn it on when you want.

        I wonder if those who get a lot of return out of casual play do that: bring that energy into the play without any real external stimulus (then, probably the scene feeds it, but to *start* with it already firing).

        Ferns

        1. “I wonder if those who get a lot of return out of casual play do that: bring that energy into the play without any real external stimulus (then, probably the scene feeds it, but to *start* with it already firing).”

          I would have to say you’re probably right on this. Those I choose to play with either bring it with them, or it’s easily turned on very quickly. Then it’s just about manipulating the flows.

          Of course the down side is being able to turn it off when it pops up at inconvenient times. LOL Kinda like when you have non-kinky family and friends staying with you and the urge becomes overwhelming and you just can’t do anything about it.

          Wish it came with a light switch!

    1. Honestly, I struggled a bit with how to express it, but that was the most succinct, visceral way to say it. That’s what is in my head: “My fucking dick is hard”.

      It’s not about my physical body because it doesn’t *feel* like ‘my clit gets hard’ or ‘my pussy is wet’, it *feels* like some bigger, ‘out there’, physically visible manifestation of this feeling, and that’s the closest I can get to expressing it in a few words.

      Also, I will happily admit to a pretty good case of penis envy, truth be told.

      Ferns

  3. “I want to close my fingers around some beautiful boy’s neck and run him backwards full tilt until I smash him into a wall. Feel the grunt as the air leaves his body, the crack of his skull against the immovable object…”

    Damn beautiful boys make me envious! *sighs*

    Respectfully,
    mysticlez

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