Meeting schmeeting

As an experiment in doing things differently and meeting a man without establishing that we had any compatibility first, my recent date really turned out much as expected.

I didn’t feel any real connection in our communications leading up to the lunch, and I didn’t feel any when we met.

I know that for some, surprise face-to-face chemistry can spark a forest fire despite not having very much going on before meeting, but this confirms that it’s really unlikely that that’s going to work for me. I know it’s a completely insignificant sample, but given how much I hate meeting people, I’m not planning to do it again.

It was worth giving it a go, just to see how it felt, but how it felt was ‘eh’. In future if I don’t feel excited to be meeting him because our emails/IMs/phone calls have been so wonderfully fun and interesting, I’m just going to drop it.

On another note, and in the interests of expanding my options, I have put a personal ad out there. There is no link to my blog on it (it’s not hard to figure out, but I actually think I am kind of hidden here in my little corner of the internet). I will probably write more about it later. Suffice it to say that I am pleasantly surprised at the quality of responses.

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8 Comments

  1. Can’t say I’m surprised that random dating didn’t work. The odds are not good even if they are not insurmountable.

    It can take years, and I mean Years, to find someone with whom you have a real cultural, intellectual, and empathetic connection, whether in kink or in plain old vanilla. And combining all that with the right erotic chemistry is not easy. But when you do, you’ll think the wait was worth it.

    Personals may be the way forward. I wouldn’t know. I never tried. At least you have the advantage of the Internet these days.

    In any event, best of luck.

    1. I agree with you about the ‘years’ thing.

      I’ve met all of the men in my life without ever putting out a personal ad. Vanilla men I mostly met through work, and submissives I always met online through good luck and happenstance.

      I don’t like the idea of an ad, but since I have essentially had 3 dates in two years (without any of them leading to anything), it seems sensible to try something new.

      Thanks for the good luck wishes!

      Ferns

  2. “Suffice it to say that I am pleasantly surprised at the quality of responses”

    This is great, and I’m very encouraged by it. I hope it’s not too long before you meet the amazing-awesome boy that someone as wonderful as you deserves!

  3. I couldn’t imagine trying to go on dates just to see again. I hate the whole having to go out and meet people too so I need to see some kind of clue something may come of it. I hope your ad works for you and you find who you deserve.

    Respectfully,
    mysticlez

  4. I wish we could go back and edit comments lol I meant to say that I had been considering doing an ad for a while but I just feel weird doing it and wouldn’t have a clue what to say.

    Respectfully,
    mysticlez

    1. I completely understand feeling weird and not having a clue what to say.

      When I decided to do it, I did a search of my 400-odd page ‘random thoughts’ document and found something I had written AGES ago (yay, past-me), so I did a quick edit and I was done.

      THIS is why I never delete anything!

      Ferns

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