Eye candy, yes please!

I was halfway through my workout when a guy started doing wide grip pull ups 1.

They are my absolute weakness when done slowly, with full control, to failure. Watching his muscles work, then watching him tire, and seeing him strain to get the last few in, the struggle, the determination, and the inevitable fail-point when he couldn’t lift himself again, but he would *still* try for that last one. So fucking beautiful. Guh!

I try not be be obvious about it, but sometimes when men are doing these extraordinary things with their bodies, I just stare, transfixed. I can’t help it. I am lucky that at least at the spot where men do pull ups, there is no mirror, so they (mostly) can’t see me rudely staring while they are working out. I am not subtle.

hanging abs
Hanging windshield wipers

Then the same guy, young, not huge, but with a lovely fit, muscled body, did perfectly controlled wide-stance burpees. I could not look away. The spread legs, the slow descent to the floor, the wonderfully controlled sprung-steel leap back into a crouch, and the lift off the floor. Oh. My. God.

As if this wasn’t enough, he followed this with hanging windshield wipers which I have never seen before. I wonder if I was slack-jawed watching him.

And then he repeated the set *dies of pleasure*.

I was trying to do my workout while keeping him in my sight-line, awkward. So stunningly hot. So worth it.

I am trying to articulate what it feels like to watch a boy do this with his body. It is awe and wonder and deep appreciation for the beauty of it, of him. It’s not lust, even though he is almost unbearably sexy in it. It feels like watching art: physical, sweaty, straining art. And it is more than that. It is watching him push himself as hard as he can go, watching him convince himself he can go harder, watching him fail, forced to give up. The fail-point is the sexiest thing ever.

In the meantime, while this beautiful boy is working in my peripheral vision, I feed on the energy he gives me without even knowing it. I’m working hard, earphones in, music blaring. Machine bench press to pushups and back. My arms are weak. I push myself hard. It shows: I self talk, sometimes my mouth moves (“two more… two more…come on…!”), I grit my teeth, I snarl, I go as hard as I can.

I look up at the end of a set. A man is talking to me – he’s short, bald, built. I take an earbud out thinking he probably wants to work in with me.

He smiles, “Using anger, that’s good…”
I smile back. “I don’t think that’s anger as much as exhaustion.”
“Well, I can see you using something… anger, passion, something… it’s good…”
I laugh a little, hold up my earbud. “Yeah, something like that… I’m always worried that I’m making noise. I can’t hear a thing with these in…”
“No no… you’re fine! Whatever’s on that,” he nods at my ipod, slipped down my gym top, “… it’s totally working…”
“Thanks…” I smile again, and put the earbud back in signalling the end of the conversation. I’m really not interested in socialising at the gym.

When I finish my workout, I gather myself, drinking a protein shake before heading home. Short-bald-built guy comes over and makes idle chat, which ends with him introducing himself. Hello Shane. We shake hands. I am flattered, but I hope that this is not somehow going to become awkward when he wants me to make nice every time we are at the gym together (the gym is a hotbed of idle chatter and socialising, which I have managed to avoid with earbuds and scowling, so far getting away with a polite nod to the people I see over and over again).

Regardless, I leave the gym feeling amazing. Strong, energised, happy. I want to blast music and dance wildly. I want to kiss and fuck and smack someone around.

What is this energy? Is it sexual? Honestly, I don’t know. And why did this man approach me today? Am I wafting some ‘come hither’ pheromones after watching the beautiful boy? I’ve noticed before that when I am sexually energised, I DO get approached by men when I am pretty much unapproachable most of the time. I’m not sure how that works exactly, but I’ve experienced it enough to know it’s true.

As I head home, I feel like I am firing on all cylinders, I feel like I am crackling with it.

Well hello there, me.

1 Do you know how hard it is to find youtube clips of men doing exercises to failure? Really hard! Apparently failure isn’t the done thing, so nobody gets to the fail-point on video.

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6 Comments

  1. “Regardless, I leave the gym feeling amazing. Strong, energised, happy. I want to blast music and dance wildly. I want to kiss and fuck and smack someone around.”

    Awesome for the workout energy!!! Yay! I am glad for you.

    “What is this energy? It is sexual? Honestly, I don’t know. And why did this man approach me? Am I wafting some ‘come hither’ pheromones after watching the beautiful boy? I’ve noticed before that when I am sexually energised, I DO get approached by men when I am pretty much unapproachable most of the time. I’m not sure how that works exactly, but I’ve experienced it enough to know it’s true.”

    You DO have a sexual energy to you when you are in certain moods that people around you can pick up on. It is like a thing where when you are least trying to appear sexual but you are sexually energized people around you who find you attractive can’t help, but want to be close to you. Even if they don’t have a chance in hell.

    “As I head home, I feel like I am firing on all cylinders, I feel like I am crackling with it.”

    I am so happy for you..and look your mind seems to be back too! You just needed to be inspired.

    Respectfully,
    mysticlez

    1. “You DO have a sexual energy to you when you are in certain moods that people around you can pick up on. It is like a thing where when you are least trying to appear sexual but you are sexually energized people around you who find you attractive can’t help, but want to be close to you.”

      *chuckle* I’m not so sure about that, but I like the idea of it, so I’ll take it!

      Also, have you been spying on me? *looks around suspiciously*

      “I am so happy for you..and look your mind seems to be back too! You just needed to be inspired.”

      *smile* I hope so, though to be honest, I expect this daily blogging will reveal more ups and downs than you might usually see here. That is, on a daily basis, my moods will fluctuate more and what I feel yesterday will not be what I feel today. Fleeting.

      Ferns

      1. “Also, have you been spying on me? *looks around suspiciously*”

        *gasp* As your friend I completely resent the inclination that I might think of you in any lustful watchful stalkerish way!!!

        *hides camera behind back and ducks behind bushes*

        Respectfully,
        mysticlez

  2. I’ve always referred to the energy as my aggression.

    It’s not “just” passion, but it’s the passion to go get, take… make it mine, to BE the aggressor.

    It’s the same energy I get when I step on to the field before a sporting event.. the aggression to win, give it all. The more aggressive the sport.

    When in the gym, it’s the energy I tap to push out that last set or go an extra 5 mins. I always get teased for the “angry” music I listen to for work out or to psych up before a game. It’s a collection of metal, hard rap and such that just fuels this energy for me. I used to listen to it when my boy and I would play… but it started to scare him to death because when I popped it in, he knew he was in for a rough night.

    But it’s quite a rush that always leaves me feeling like I could conquer the world.

    1. Ahhh… that’s interesting.

      I recognise something similar in terms of ‘energy’ and aggression when it’s *specifically* sexual energy, but getting this kind of ‘out of context’ energy is something different.

      I really wish I could tap into it whenever I wanted, but since I’m not quite sure how it works, I’m also not sure how to do that. If I could take that to the gym every time I go, I’d do much better!!

      “But it’s quite a rush that always leaves me feeling like I could conquer the world.”

      Yes, that! I actually wonder if gym junkies just get that every time they go and THAT’S the feeling that keeps them motivated. If so, I’m jealous!

      Ferns

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