A preview of the story’s end

I’m just going to place this here: a shot across the bow for all of you romantics and well-wishers, so you know what is coming… so I don’t feel like I am misleading you.

There will be no happy ending for bambi and me.

There, I said it, quietly, with regret.

I am not wanting to dwell on it or talk about it right now because I don’t want to spend what little time we have left spinning into the sadness that I know is coming. Writing about it requires me to explore that space, and I just don’t want to right now. It is there in my peripheral vision and I refuse to look directly at it. There will be time enough for that.

I am concentrating on the positives while he is here so that I can enjoy him to the best of my ability (and I *do* enjoy him very much). We are spending time kissing and playing and exploring and cuddling and pashing and making the most of what works with us, and all of that works beautifully. We are both trying to avoid spiralling into what doesn’t work, stepping lightly so as not to sink into it.

Suffice it to say he is a truly lovely boy, and I want to say grand and sweet things about him because they are true, and I am not sure he quite believes me when I tell him so. Enough for now to say that I am beyond sad that he won’t be mine.

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23 Comments

  1. I am truly sorry for for your sadness and please know gorgeous that I am always around with big hugs, a shoulder, a place to vent, or anything you need.I mean that.You will find in the end what you truly deserve and I believe with all my heart you deserve so much.

    Respectfully,
    mysticlez

    1. I have to second this idea. Also, I agree with Dumb Domme you should at least have happy balls… wait that didn’t come out right at all, I’m blaming it on the sad love songs though.

      Your post could’ve come at a better time for a particular reader *waves*, I’m glad you shared and I was going to post this over in the selfish post you made the other day but I thought it better to bring it over here…

      I’m sorry things didn’t work out this time, I hope you find what you are looking for. But if happiness were easy to find life wouldn’t be the adventure it is. And, really what is life without a little adventure?

  2. Life is about living each moment. I so admire the fact that you are both savoring that which works for you. Sadness later. *nods* I’ll be sorry about that then. For now… pretty boy to enjoy!

  3. Grab happiness by the balls and hold onto it while you can. It’s imperfect and it’s fleeting and you’re wise to hold on to it for the time that you have.

    If that doesn’t work, rip off happiness’s balls, put them in a mason jar, and display them proudly on your mantle. :)

    Or, um… just do what you’re doing. :)

    Cheers!

    1. Well said.

      I’m really sorry for you. When reading your last couple of posts, I was really hoping for a happy ending.

      Well, I’ll keep following the Adventures of the Great Ferns and I’ll be looking forward to the happily ever after.

      The best of luck to you!

  4. Bummer. :-(

    Take it from an old trooper. Happiness is not a steady state. There’s bitter in life, and there’s sweet. And the bitter exists in order that the sweet tastes sweeter when we’ve got it.

  5. I’m really sorry to hear it. As one of those hopeless romantics, I am always hoping for the best, and disappointed when it doesn’t work out.

    When the sads finally do show up, I’ll be right here, with listening, hugs, and whatever else I can help you with… I’ll even get drunk with you if you need me to! (I’m good like that)

    Meanwhile, enjoy what you share and make the most of the moment. *HUGS*

  6. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t sad to read this, but very rarely are endings happy. Try not to think about the ending. Focus on the happy start and the fun middle.

  7. *hugs*

    I’ve been there. So much good, so much connection and “clicking” on so many levels, but you know that ultimately it cannot work.

    I wish I had words of advice or solace, but I don’t. You’re doing the right thing – enjoy what you have while you can.

  8. Grrrrrr, can I say that I checked your post daily, waiting with bated to breath to hear the good news? I am so sorry Ferns. At the very least, let it be known that your experience has left us with the reminder to cherish that elusive and rare opportunity for love when you do find it.

  9. Duuuuude, spoiler alert! Wonder if this is how people felt when I told them that the annoying kid saw dead people :/

  10. Thank you all so much for the kind and thoughtful comments. I *really* appreciate it, you don’t even know!

    I’m not going to reply to each one because I’m doing my best Scarlett O’Hara at the moment:

    “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.”

    Next week after bambi goes home, I will probably wallow for a bit, and I expect he will hide somewhere and lick his wounds. I might write some more about possibilities and potential and how they fool you and then kick you in the guts… there’s something to look forward to, right?! *smile*

    For now, though, we are both doing okay, and honestly, going for it with hope and optimism is *always* worth it because the ‘what ifs’ and the fear will eat you up. Plus, I am getting to touch up a pretty boy whenever I want…!

    Ferns

  11. Mon Dieux, Puppington. You do not have my big spaniel eyes and your whiskers are uncouth. Idiot rosbif.

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