Using D/s to get what I want

Soon after we started speaking, bambi and I talked about fitness. He told me that he was carrying too much weight and was trying to lose it. I told him that if he was mine, I would make him lose the weight (and no, I don’t care one bit how ‘politically incorrect’ that is). A day after we had that discussion, he went and got a gym membership and ramped up his efforts. I enjoyed that reaction a lot.

He sweetly wants to be at his best when we meet. And I *want* him at his best.

A week or so ago, I intervened to monitor his diet and exercise: to step it up before he gets here. He really *wants* to do it, but was a bit hit and miss with it, and I wanted to push him for these last few weeks. So now he reports to me daily so that I can see what he has eaten and what exercise he has done. The objective is to make him more mindful of what he is doing, and I am helping him to make better choices. He is one of those men who has never tried to manage his diet, so his poor habits are ingrained. It will take a bit of time for him to think differently about food. And beer. If it was easy, there wouldn’t be a billion dollar industry built around it.

Yesterday I had him do a ‘perfect day’ for me because I was a little frustrated that every day’s report contained soda or cookies or some other thing that was just empty calories. It was really tough for him and boy was he a cranky little bitch (*my* cranky little bitch!).

Just quietly, it was quite enjoyable to watch him suffer in a way, even though it wasn’t a cute ‘awww, this sucks’ suffering, but a gritted teeth ‘I can’t talk about that other thing right now because I am just too fucking cranky!’ sort of suffering.

It was really difficult for him, but he did it: a perfect day! Good boy.

Today he produced some graph porn to illustrate his progress. It made me laugh.

bambi's diet chart Feb

It shows his diet quality over time (obviously) with significant milestones (me!!). The vertical ‘Delivery’ line is when he will be delivered to me. The first little peak is his ‘perfect day’ during which he learnt quite a few things that helped him improve. We are currently just after the first peak… the rest is success projection *smile*.

D/s and torture and beautifying and graph porn. I’d call that a pretty darn good combination.

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13 Comments

  1. First off, graph porn? That’s pretty amazing and I think I love it. I just *know* there’s a way to incorporate it into things Naga does for me….

    Second, yayyyy for fitness as part of D/s! When Naga and I first started talking, he explained that after some terrible experiences with previous Dommes, he was wary of fitness regimens or requirements. He wasn’t willing to call it a hard limit, but he clearly had no use for it. As with just about every limit we’ve encountered, that quickly became obsolete. In the nearly 2 years we’ve been doing 24/7 D/s, he’s lost nearly 50 pounds, cooks regularly, eats well, and enjoys going to the gym where he’s more and more confident each week. He’s thrilled about it. I say all this partly to brag on him (because I happen to think he’s pretty amazing), but also partly as response to those dominants who gave him such an unpleasant experience with fitness in the past. They can suck it.

    Now, back to plotting (NPI) graph porn….

    1. Will I be able to do the graphs with a spreadsheet, Ma’am? Pretty please?

      For those following along at home, I hate actually writing anything by hand, but I’m a total spreadsheet maven. Or spreadsheet whore. Or something.

    2. @Jalan_Jalan:

      “First off, graph porn? That’s pretty amazing and I think I love it. I just *know* there’s a way to incorporate it into things Naga does for me….”

      Yes! I loooove me some graph porn!!

      “As with just about every limit we’ve encountered, that quickly became obsolete. In the nearly 2 years we’ve been doing 24/7 D/s, he’s lost nearly 50 pounds…”

      That’s great! Congratulations to you both! Especially if he had some horrible experiences with it before. The whole thing *can* be really fraught.

      I’ve done some version of D/s + fitness a few times now. I see it as a way to give him some motivation, accountability, guidance *and* a kick up the arse, but he has to *want* to do it or it’s not going to work.

      “I say all this partly to brag on him…”

      Heh… totally brag-worthy!

      Ferns

  2. I think it’s wonderful and beautiful. You create a context that now further elevates him (note his attempt for a positive slope before he met you). And the D/s and torture and beautifying (and graphing!!) does a bit of the same for you.

  3. “Good boy”

    *Chuckle* horny.

    I keep finding this stuff ‘chuckle horny*.

    Get him to eat only the breakfasts that *you* eat, Miss Ferns. That will do the trick!

    And I know he’ll thank me for suggesting this to you. :-)

    1. *smile* I think ‘chuckle horny’ is a perfectly reasonable reaction.

      “Get him to eat only the breakfasts that *you* eat, Miss Ferns. That will do the trick!”

      I think you are under the mistaken impression that I don’t have a decent breakfast fit for a manly man! Coffee, and 2 eggs, scrambled. He’d probably need more than that, but it’s a fine breakfast!

      Ferns

  4. “one of those men who has never tried to manage his diet, so his poor habits are ingrained”… “I was a little frustrated that every day’s report contained soda or cookies or some other thing that was just empty calories. It was really tough for him and boy was he a cranky little bitch”

    Tell bambi I can so relate to how much pain and suffering taking away his poor habits of pepsi and empty calories caused him. I know that it couldn’t have been easy and apparently he is stronger than me. I have absolutely appalling dietary habits and yes Pepsi is one of them as I wake up to Pepsi and I go to sleep with Pepsi. I quit smoking after 24 years cold turkey and still had an easier time than kicking these ingrained dietary habits. I too want to lose the extra weight I carry and despite what my mind tells me I need to do I find myself losing the pepsi and empty calorie battle too. I have tried several times and I get so bad jittery those around me will literally run to buy me one.

    “I would make him lose the weight (and no, I don’t care one bit how ‘politically incorrect’ that is).” Sometimes when you can’t just seem to do it yourself no matter how truly strong you are, a shove is useful.

    Respectfully,
    brattyboi

    1. It *is* really tough, I know, and I’m so very proud of how diligent he has been.

      I’m also delighted that he is currently getting lots of admiring comments from old friends about the weight he has lost.

      And I agree that having someone provide oversight/ support/ encouragement/ accountability (a ‘shove’) is hugely helpful. Doesn’t hurt if there is a bit of a D/s flavour to it either *smile*.

      Ferns

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