Missing him

So bambi has been offline for the third day in a row**. I am twitchy and restless. I am used to pretty much constant contact when our timezones align.

He is overseas, staying in a small, remote village in a foreign country. He has had internet access in the place he has been staying, but apparently it is now broken. He has only a ‘voicemail-to-email’ cell number, and there are no internet cafes, there is no free wifi ‘in town’, he is essentially incommunicado.

I miss him.

I am relieved and happy that his flights are already booked, and that we had agreed that I would find him local accommodation, so the logistics are settled. I don’t have to be concerned about the practical side, even if this continues for the next few weeks. We are fine.

But I still hate it.

Today when I was in the supermarket I got a text from an unknown number:

“Omfg hi hi hi, internet is out still, might be out for a week. I’m still alive and being good I miss you SO MUCH UGHHH”

I was embarrassingly like a giddy schoolgirl after not hearing from him for days.

“*hugssssss!!!!!* You just made my day!!! I miss you too!!!!! *flails about madly*”

I love so much that one of his first thoughts was to reassure me that he was ‘being good’ *swoon*. Fucking adorable.

I was surprised (and happy!) about my reaction. I finished my shopping all smiley-faced.

I enjoy that I feel this way: I’m on edge because he isn’t around, there’s a jittery unfocussed restlessness, an impatience. It is a positive energy, I’m grateful that it’s there. It bodes well for the possibilities.

** This post sat in my drafts for a day or so. It has now been 5 days with only a few text messages and a couple of really short emails when he found a connection… Grrrrr… *kicks dirt*

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12 Comments

  1. I just read the small print. Damnit! Utterly intolerable about that lad’s internet connection! Kill! Death!!

    1. I agree!!

      I am beside myself when I lose internet connection, and I still have my phone, so it’s more ‘curtailed’ than ‘lost’, and I still find it incredibly frustrating.

      He is back now though! Phew.

      Ferns

  2. Missing someone is awful/wonderful that way. Contrast the giddy excitement at every little swoonworthy contact with the frustration of Must. Have. Now., and it’s no wonder we end up wanting to tear them apart and hold them tight at the same time.

    1. Yes! It is a kind of bitter sweetness to miss someone. Their lack of availability heightens every contact, and that can be lovely.

      As for me, I *love* to be missed. Love it!

      Ferns

  3. This was such a sweet post. While I know how hard it is to be missing someone, it’s so awesome to have someone to miss, and it makes my happy to see you surprised, and happy about your reaction to his email and texts.

    I’m looking forward to more happy posts.

  4. “He is overseas, staying in a small, remote village in a foreign country.”

    You mean he is in WALES!!! The poor poor man

    *snerk*

    Can I just say I gol’d (giggled out loud ( it’s totally an interwebz wurd) ) At the idea of you flailing around in a supermarket

    Coug

  5. How dare he go incommunicado so soon after you made it public and made plans for his visit! How dare he, I say!

    Really, though, that feeling when you finally hear from someone you’ve been missing, and they’ve been missing you, too, is wonderful. It doesn’t quite make up for the missing them part, but it’s still very nice.

  6. Ok.. now you have to give me, when you read this…

    “I was embarrassingly like a giddy schoolgirl after not hearing from him for days.

    “*hugssssss!!!!!* You just made my day!!! I miss you too!!!!! *flails about madly*””

    In a singsong voice… it creates imagines of a little nymph like creature flittering about. I can’t help it… I like this image of you.

    I don’t care how far off it is! LOL

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