More Q&A with readers

The Formspring widget that is supposed to show my recent Q&A on the Ask Me! page is suddenly broken and Formspring support have no idea why (thanks Formspring people!!). The widget insists that I have no public questions even though at last count there were 108 of them. Grrrrr…

So, I’ve added a link on that page to the Q&A and will wait for it to magically fix itself *makes magical woo woo motions in the air*.

In the meantime, I am posting the latest batch of questions and answers here because I know that clicking on the Ask Me! link at the top there is waaaay too much trouble, and now that you have to click AGAIN to see the actual Q&As, it’s like it doesn’t even exist!

Want to ask me something? Or just say hello all anonymous-like? Or tell me a secret? Go ahead, I love hearing from you!

___

Some flowers. For you.

I assume that there was an image attached here somehow, but all I see is the word “img” and when I click on it, I don’t see any flowers. Boo hiss!

Thank you for the thought, though. It was very sweet, and I appreciate it!!

Ferns

Have you ever had a stalker?

I have never had a stalker, unless they were a really talented stalker of the uber secret kind, one who never makes their presence known, a silent stalker who stalks around all stalkery-like, but who never pops their head above the parapet in a scary-stalkery way to announce themselves.

So I guess the answer is: I have never been aware of having a stalker.

*waves to any secret stalkery-types* Thank you for not being scary!

Ferns

From: slapshot54

I miss you when you are not tweeting, or blogging, or formspringing. You make the internet a better place… Just sayin’

Awww, thank you so much slapshot!!

I do like to be missed. It is one of my favourite things!

Ferns

Is this anonymous? If I say that I’m a little bit in love with you, are you going to know who I am?

*smile* This is totally anonymous, and if you say that you are a little bit in love with me, I will have absolutely no clue who you are, and I will try to guess, and I will wonder, and I will puzzle, and I will still have no idea.

So you can say it if you like…

Ferns

What’s one thing about you that most of your readers don’t know?

I sleep in the nude.

Ferns

Explain, please, why you like Hugh Jackman so much. Also, how I be like Hugh?

Because: http://tinyurl.com/cy9va5y.

And: http://tinyurl.com/cjtjxvx.

And: http://tinyurl.com/8vg4tkp

Also: *Any interview with him EVER EVER EVER*

*swoon*

And I’m sorry, you can’t be like Hugh, that is simply impossible. Because… HUGH!!!!

I hope that helps.

Ferns

What is your spirit animal and why?

I have no idea, is this a thing I should know?

I’m guessing I’d be a porcupine crossed with a sloth because: prickly and lazy, and baby sloths are cute, but not so much when they grow up, so that spirit animal hybrid idea goes bad pretty fast since I’m totally cute!

Ferns

You are my best friend and I love you. Thank you for being you.

*smile* Oh, that’s so lovely! And you are so welcome!! *warm hug*

Ferns

That was sweet! Who is your best friend or do you not know?

*smile* Yes, it was very sweet, and yes I know the lovely who wrote it.

Ferns

Sometimes I want to kiss you. Right now is one of those times.

*puckers up… waits…*

*… waits… *

*sigh*

WHERE IS MY KISSING!!!!??!!

*mutters… wanders off…*

Ferns

Where have all your questions gone?

*looks suspiciously at the question*

There’s one now!!

Oh wait!! You mean on my ‘Ask me’ page?!! Eep!!! THEY HAVE RUN AWAY AND JOINED THE CIRCUS!!!

I shall have to round them up and herd them back into their cage, then beat them for impertinence.

Thank you for letting me know of their escape.

Ferns

I imagine your are whit some girl friends and you ask me to make love whit other slave man just for your fun

Good for you!

Though the word you are reaching for there is ‘with’. I know, it’s one of the trickier words in the English language, being four letters and all. You’re welcome.

Ferns

When are you going to wake up already? I know it’s early, but sheesh! People miss your lovely conversational skills when you’re asleep, you know.

I’m awake!!

Except if I’m asleep.

But I’m awake now!

Ferns

When are you going to come to an event in Sydney?

I don’t even go to events that are within driving distance, so the answer is ‘probably never’.

Of course if you are a fabulous, smart, sexy, amazing submissive man who I might fall in love with and you want to invite me to come visit, well that’s different.

Ferns

Do dominant women like men in women’s clothing?

Some do, some don’t.

There is no hive mind that dominant women share, and really if you were to ask, “Do dominant women like <some kink>?”, the answer will pretty much always be “Some do, some don’t”.

Ferns

Further to “Do dominant women like men in women’s clothing?” Do you? Why or why not? I’m trying to understand some of the reactions I’ve had.

Well, without any information about the reaction you’ve had or the context, I’m not sure my answer will be very helpful.

Firstly, if you *lead* with your fetish, it is never going to go down well, and it doesn’t matter what the fetish is or if she’s into it or not. So there’s that.

Secondly, to answer your question, no I don’t particularly like women’s clothing on men. Why? Because I don’t find it sexy and I like my submissive to be sex on legs for me.

Ferns

I wanted to come here and say something incredibly saccharine, so much so that it’s sickeningly sweet. I want to love you with reckless abandon. I want to open myself up to you and let you finger paint with my guts. More gruesome than sweet.

*smile* No no, it’s terribly sweet, sickeningly sweet, in fact, I feel a little nauseous.

Thank you so much for the loveliness, the reckless abandon and the finger painting.

Ferns

When are you going to write something that makes me cry again? It’s been ages since the last time…=P

I hope *never*, unless they are tears of happiness, then I hope it’s soon. You may be surprised by some tears of indifference in the near future, though.

I trust that was helpful.

Ferns

 Do you think the mouse needs the cobra as much as the cobra needs the mouse?

The mouse will live happily without the cobra in its little mouse house with its little mouse family. The cobra will run off to spit poison at other creatures if there was no mouse, and the entire quiver of cobras (did you know that the collective nouns is ‘quiver’, I adore collective nouns!) will slither off happily with their rats and small children.

Is this another of your trick questions? Is there a hidden meaning here?

Ferns

How much do you want to punch the author of Shades in the face ? Please lots like me Coug

*laugh* I have seen an interview with her, and I like her, even though I wanted to hate her with a passion. On my generous days, I say ‘Good on her, the crafty bitch!’ She has managed to pull off what many of us who write secretly want **and she isn’t even a good writer!!!**

*jealous sigh*

Ferns

Err please say lots that should be Coug

I knew what you mean, I am smart like that!

Ferns

How are you so awesome? Is there a class I can take for that?

*suspicious squint* I suspect, but cannot prove beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is not a serious-for-real, want-to-know-the-answer type question.

I *think* that this question is simply a compliment in disguise, but your fake moustache and funny accent don’t fool me, Compliment!!! I recognise you when I see you!!

So thank you for the lovely compliment.

And if you must know, I am so awesome through the magic of the internet, which showers secret fairy dust all over you whenever you read anything written by me, and this makes me seem all glowy and amazing. There are no classes, you have to capture a half-unicorn-man, and chain him up in your basement and force him to secrete the fairy dust from his pores, which you then collect and sprinkle over your computer when you write.

See? Simple!

Ferns

And where would one find a half-unicorn-man? How does one go about capturing him?

When you are ready, he will find you, and allow himself to be captured with cookies and a gentle petting of his flanks.

Ferns

There’s more to me that you have yet to split open like a fresh fig! Please note that open gaping slab over to your right.

*suspicious squint* Fresh figs are lovely, but the other bit… that sounds kind of gross.

*peeks over to the right… is relieved to see sunshine and the park and further out, the beach…*

Phew. Was scared I was going to fall into a big open gaping something-or-other…

Ferns

Hey Miss Ferns how are you ?

Yeah pretty good thanks.

Ferns

Is that Yogacam scenario fact or fiction?

Fact. Right down to the green yoga mat.

Ferns

I crave to be hurt and to suffer but cant seem to find a domme who wants to hurt at this level, i so want to see her smile as she hurts me. paul

Well, paul, it is always difficult to find someone compatible, but if your driver is to hurt and suffer and to see her smile when she does it (versus having a relationship with a woman), I have two suggestions for you:

1. Get out in your local community, volunteer, meet people, then go to play parties where Dommes are often happy to play casually with boys that they know and like.

2. Consider going to see a good pro-Domme to get that experience

If you want a relationship, then obviously those are not great options, but if you just want the experience you described, then those are two easier ways to get it.

Best of luck.

Ferns

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12 Comments

  1. Though I’m quiet as that mouse these days (but maybe not as quiet as that uber-stalker…. hmmm did you know it is called a ‘mischief of mice’?? but I digress), I have to say that your smart, quick, sassy, gently biting but never cruel, willing-to-be-silly-but-never-going-too-far, sharp wit always astounds me. I guess it is all part of your ‘magical woo woo’ powers over us to make us smile. Thanks always for sharing with us.

    1. “…did you know it is called a ‘mischief of mice’??”

      I did not!! That’s a great one!

      “I have to say that your smart, quick, sassy, gently biting but never cruel, willing-to-be-silly-but-never-going-too-far, sharp wit always astounds me…”

      Oh, you what a sweet thing to say. Thank you for that!

      Ferns

  2. Are tears of indifference like tears of a clown ?

    BTW collectives for clowns number
    circus of clowns
    carload of clowns
    pandemonium of clowns
    parliament of clowns (I believe that is an official clown organization, however) o.O
    pratfall of clowns

    Yours in an attempt to cover the ravages of old age on my memory

    Cougs

  3. Collective nouns are the best – makes a great car game, trying to work out the collective noun for everything. Of course, gets even better when you start making up your own…my boy insists it has to be an “ambush of tigers” :D

    Kathryn

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