More questions from readers

I am loving getting these, truly! It’s like a little window into what is going on out there with my readers, and I love that.

I mused in one of my answers that I might well be some sort of question-whore, but even if it’s not a question, it’s still lovely when someone takes the time to send me a note.

So gushing aside, if you want to ask me a question, leave me a random message, or see what has been asked already, just go to my Ask me! page and go wild!

When did you first realize you were the most creative genius since Virginia Woolf?

*laugh* This might just be the best question ever! Brilliantly flattering and so cutely expressed! LOVE!!

I will realise it tomorrow I am sure. Maybe the next day.

Ferns

I’m feeling really submissive at the moment, and I’m also in the mood for writing something. So why the fuck not? I want to be at your mercy, on my knees looking up at you all doe-eyed and anxious. Anxious because I know what you’re capable of. (cont)

(cont) Anxious of treading on uncharted territory, of overstepping my boundaries. But mainly, anxious to please you and do a good job. I want to beg you. Lying open and vulnerable and in a state of surrender. Reaching out to touch you, for comfort(cont)

(cont) and reassurance. I know I won’t get it but I ask anyway because being denied and suffering your wrath is just as pleasurable. It’s a strange thing, submission; hypnotic and enticing and it keeps the cravings at bay, at least for a while. Love it! #

*smile* I consider it a lovely compliment that you shared your thoughts here with me (in three parts, no less…!). You are most welcome to come back any time you feel like writing (though obviously the medium is not best for thoughts of any length…).

So thank you.

Ferns

Acclaimed comic book author Warren Ellis has called the science-fiction television series “Farscape,” “one American’s descent into Australia’s S&M scene.” As a member of Australia’s S&M scene, is this an accurate statement?

I am extremely poorly placed to answer this (even though I love the question) because I have never seen Farscape, and I’m not a member of ‘Australia’s S&M scene’.

Sooo… I have no idea.

But I really want to watch that series now!

Ferns

Do you prefer deep and personal questions, or light and silly questions? One of each: What were the circumstances of your first heartbreak? What is your favorite candy or treat?

I like all types of questions! I think I may be some kind of question-whore!

My first heartbreak… hmmm… It came with my first love (which makes sense) and seemed never ending, as if I would never get over it. I have (sometimes thankfully) a really terrible memory and can’t recall exactly *how* it ended, but we kept it limping along much longer than we should have, so we ended up breaking each others’ hearts over and over when we should have made a clean break. We just weren’t capable of doing that.

My favourite sweet thing is probably croquembouche, but failing getting my hands on an entire toffee covered tower, profiteroles would do just fine…!

Ferns

How do *you* tell when someone is crushing on you? Your writing does lend itself to garnering admirers, so I suppose you could rightfully assume that someone has a crush on you at any given time, but your latest post suggests that you know specifics.

*smile* I can only tell when they actually sidle up beside me and tell me so: maybe in a quiet little comment, unsigned and sweetly left on one of my posts, or maybe they send me a shy and lovely email and react with giddy pleasure when I reply and tell them how wonderful it is for me to hear from them, or maybe they boldly strike up a conversation and it takes me a while to see their crushing hidden in amongst our discussion topics.

Ferns

While you’re working on obtaining a submissive boy to tear them nakedly limb from limb what you do to deal with the frustration? Any favorite material?

I don’t really get sexually frustrated: I can look after myself, thanks very much. My libido gets fired up *by* someone (that is, I identify the target FIRST, and then I get all ‘grrrrr…rawwwrrr…’ over *him*).

However if your question is ‘do I have favourite porn’, the answer is ‘not really’.

If I am going to use porn (and I really only do when I am bored with the inside of my own head and need some new material), I cruise the typical web sites for non-consensual ‘helpless victim’/’predatory aggressor’ type of stuff (which is always M/f, by the way).

Ferns

How do I get this wigit on my blog? my googling produced no answers. (by Submissiveinsea)

Your google-fu sucks!!!

Look up ‘formspring widget’.

Ferns

What’s your favorite “personal use” toy?

I’m not really so big on toys, so I’d say my fingers.

Ferns

What do I do to temper my jealousy of a Domme who gets awesome questions while I get none? (by DumbDomme)

You gloat over the fact that you have a lovely boy to kiss and play with and hold hands with WHILE SHE IS ALL ALONE… Take that, bitch!!! Bwuhahahahahaha!!!

Oh wait.

Are you talking about me?

Then you should just do some meditation on your selfishness, and feel so bad about your negativity that you are compelled to send her presents. The universe suggests awesome heels in size 10 as a penance.

Ferns

eek. should have gotten metal/steel balls for the v-gym. My friend tried those and even though meticulously keeping them clean – got an infection. be careful! -MK

I will be careful, thanks!

Ferns

Could you offer some ideas on the subject of “everyday dominance”? Different things of exerting your dominance while not “in bed” but in general during the day? (like making him kneel for a time, have him sleep on the floor next to the bed at night, etc.)

I assume you are a new Domme asking this question?

This is very personal, it’s about *you* would like from him: things that make your life more fun, easier, that give you pleasure. Then get him to do *those* things. It makes no sense to have things that you don’t care about or aren’t interested in, so ideas from others are just ‘stuff’. It has to be about *you*.

So I suggest you sit down and think about your ‘everyday life’. What behaviour from your boy would make you smile? Would ease your burden? Would make you all warm and squishy inside? Make a list. Use some of those.

*laugh* I expect you are cursing me right now, “Look Ferns, if I could think of things like that, I would never have asked you, geez!!”

So, some that I use:

– He’s not allowed to sit on the furniture without permission
– There should be a full bottle of wine and a full bottle of cold water in the fridge at all times
– My water glass in the living room should be topped up when it gets empty
– Toilet seat down, always
– When I come home, he greets me kneeling at the door
– Where practical, he is responsible for my footwear (putting on, taking off, putting away)
– He always calls me Ma’am
– etc…

I hope that helps.

Ferns

Miss Ferns, What does male skin feel like to you? Is it kind of leathery, compared to female skin? Odd question, I know, but it just popped into my head, so it popped onto this page, too. Sir Puppington Lothian.

Thank you for the popping!

Male skin doesn’t feel leathery, no. Unless he is an old man who has seen too much sun and I am not likely to be stroking that guy so much.

Just like women, some men have lovely soft skin, and some don’t, and then again, some might, but it is hidden under their man-pelt.

As an aside cock-skin is always silky and the head particularly is always beautiful velvety soft skin. Was that TMI?

Ferns

Why aren’t you having lots of kissing with a beautiful submissive boy?

I don’t know, dear anonymous. Why *aren’t* I surrounded by beautiful submissive boys who I am aching to do the kissing with? Why why whyyyy??!!

*sigh*

I suspect it’s because I am difficult and choosy and boys are too scared to come to me, so I must seek them out and then tackle them to the ground and beat them into submission and then they have to be all that I want (big call, poor boys) and even more than I dreamed of, all smart and funny and sweetly vulnerable and strong and then they have to zing zing right in my fucking face over and over and make me wet with accidental sidelong glances and turns of phrase that flip my stomach and make me want to tear them nakedly limb from limb with their impossible minds and sexy hips and and…

Trust me, I’m working on it…

Ferns

What is your profession?

Professionally, I am a teacher, a trainer, an non technical IT geek, a writer, a project manager, a program manager, a product manager, a presenter, an organiser, a facilitator, a sales person, a pusher of results, a font of ideas, a wonder of the world…

But at the moment, I’m not doing any of that.

Wait, what was the question again?

Ferns

What are your favorite things? like color, food, book, movie, music, toy, ect.

Red, profiteroles, Catch 22, Momentum, Rhye, flogger, etc.

Ask me again tomorrow, the answers will be different.

Ferns

What does a day in the life of Ferns look like?

I get up, make beautiful coffee, check emails, comments, blogs, fetlife and other random stuff. Make breakfast, check what I have on for the day. Go to the gym, do whatever was on my to-do list, come home for lunch. Write, read, exchange emails with friends, contribute to forums, eat snacks, do work, chat to friends. Go to pilates if it’s on, put dinner together, have lots of kissing with a beautiful submissive boy.

Except for the last part, I made that up. WHY AREN’T I HAVING LOTS OF KISSING WITH A BEAUTIFUL SUBMISSIVE BOY?!!!

Ferns

Where can i find verse with Dom Females?

Do you mean poetry? Why you cultured literary creature you…

And really, I don’t know, though some of the classics are clearly along those lines, so I’d go trying to dig those out if I were you. Here’s a start:

Sonnet 57, William Shakespeare

Being your slave what should I do but tend
Upon the hours, and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend;
Nor services to do, till you require.
Nor dare I chide the world without end hour,
Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you,
Nor think the bitterness of absence sour,
When you have bid your servant once adieu;
Nor dare I question with my jealous thought
Where you may be, or your affairs suppose,
But, like a sad slave, stay and think of nought
Save, where you are, how happy you make those.
So true a fool is love, that in your will,
Though you do anything, he thinks no ill.

You’re welcome.

Ferns

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