Shit Ferns says… #2

Random, out of context shit I said this week (first one is here). This is laziness recycling at its finest, folks!

Ninja tiger gecko says nothing because hey, NINJA! You can’t even SEE that mofo!

“Take this boring, pedestrian sex, bitch!”

I must collect these things for my ‘crazy old lady’ dotage

Eek! Blinded by the glory of ninja tiger gecko!

Rawwrr! *waggles butt*

I am a dead milkman, only not dead, and not a milkman.

1. Get naked. 2. Cook something, anything, doesn’t matter really…

Tsk tsk, you should have been nude. Duh!

Emails and responses in 140 chars… Him: “My true love is devotion to a beautiful Domina…” // Me: “Shame, I am hideously ugly”

Meh, being out in the world ain’t all that!

The sandwiches were full of false promises and disappointment…

I am cleaning old crap off my computer. Not porn though, porn is never crap.

“CHOCOLATE BUNNY POO STUFFED DILDO PANTIES EASTER BLOWOUT”

Jesus said, “I managed to convince the world that those who rise from the dead are not zombies, they will worship my uber zombieness, and when the zombie apocalypse comes I WILL EAT YOUR HEAD!!! Bwuhahahaha!!!” That Jesus is one scary zombie.

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9 Comments

  1. Love these things you say! Who else could make Zombies and Ninja Tiger Geckos sound so damn adorable! I ran across a phrase today that immediately made me think of you! The picture was of a dreamy boy who had THE sexiest eyes…and the naughty thoughts just rolled through my head! **fanning myself!** The blogger used the phrase “Holy Shitsnacks!”…i burst out laughing and knew I had to tell you about it!

    1. From Wikipedia:

      “Unlike zombies, which are often depicted as mindless, part of a hivemind and/or under the control of some magician, a lich retains independent thought and is usually at least as intelligent as it was prior to its transformation.”

      I bow to your superior knowledge of the undead, anonymous. Kudos.

      Ferns

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