The long distance thing

Mar
2012
06

posted by on musing

I had my first Long Distance Relationship (LDR) before I even got onto the big bad world wide web.

Well, technically I had two before that, but this was the first one that started as an LDR in the way they do now, with some random contact down the wire.

I was in my mid-twenties, working for a large corporation. I happened to get my photo in the corporate newsletter (I seem to remember we were inspecting some private jet, I have no recollection why I was invited along for that!), and after the newsletter came out, I got an email out of the blue from some man in my company who lived in another city in Australia. I can’t remember exactly what it said now, but it was flirty, and along the lines of ‘Wow, you look gorgeous, hello there!’

A long distance email flirtation led to phone calls led to romantic interest and when I went to his city for work, we had our first date. It didn’t go well at all, but I felt that I *knew* him due to our correspondence, so how he behaved wasn’t the ‘real him’. So I gave him a pass.

Lesson 1 I learnt over time: No matter how charming, lovely, sweet, or sensitive a man is remotely, if he is a jerk in real life, that’s the *real him*! Duh! It’s not rocket science, but honestly, for me it may as well have been.

I ended up moving to his city (not for him, but for a job promotion) and so, my first LDR led to a relationship that I like to affectionately call ‘the relationship from hell’.

I was not in a great position of strength, what with a new job, new city, new home, no friends, and on top of it all, this terribly unhealthy blossoming relationship. I expect my isolation led to me making poor decisions with regard to him (I refuse to believe that I was just stupid!). What I learnt of him from a distance had me making excuses for his poor behaviour close up, and it took me ages to untangle that mess in my head and get him out of my life.

Since that early experience, I have gotten better at LDRs, and despite my best efforts, I seem to be the queen of them. Whether it’s 3 hours away or 24 hours away, it seems I cannot stay away from the remote boys, and I will go to great expense and effort to make them mine.

  • At 20, my first love and I tried to keep our relationship alive after a move that separated us.
  • Soon after that, I had an ongoing casual fling with a man an hour away from me.
  • The relationship from hell started as an LDR.
  • My UK ex and I tried to continue our relationship from a distance after I moved back home.
  • I had a thing with a Canadian boy I met while travelling.
  • My first live-in submissive started as an LDR.
  • Snowflake was an LDR.
  • My ex boy was an LDR.
  • Richie, though only a casual play partner, also LDR.

And recently another try with e… yet again…

And in those, I am not counting the few lovely, rich, and hopeless remote-only relationships I had in between times (I mentioned Angus briefly here on the blog).

My penchant for boys who do not live near to me seems… almost fetishistic.

I have met all of my submissives on the internet, so that means that geography is not an issue for finding them, and truly, I just like what I like. If someone zings at me, I want at them, and I think that anything in the way can be dealt with, but as I say that, all cocky-like, experience has shown that I have not yet successfully dealt with it. That doesn’t mean that the relationships were not worthwhile, it simply means that distance had a part to play in many of the endings.

With my ex boy, I fought the attraction with a vengeance, I didn’t want to go there again. I knew it was ultimately pointless because at that stage neither of us was relocatable. I am not sorry I went into the relationship, not at all, but I swore that I would not do that again: enter into something where there can be no happy ending. The happy ever after has to be *possible*. As unlikely as it is for *any* relationship, I need to know that it’s possible.

I am in a position to relocate now, so there IS that possibility of an LDR having a happy ending. If I find someone remote from me, we have options. And yet, distance is still a huge barrier to the likelihood of success and really I should be avoiding those men who aren’t local if it’s at all possible.

If only the submissive men that I find so damn appealing weren’t so geographically inconvenient.

I blame them, of course.

Entirely.

Stupid selfish boys.

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18 comments

18 comments

  1. Sir Puppington Lothian
  2. PhaedrusNW
  3. Satan
  4. Cykotica

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