Shit Ferns says…

Random things that I said this week, completely out of context:

Trussed and Disembowelled. It’s all in the technique… Slice slice… no nicking the intestine… it’s all good!

I should run classes.

Sternum pads are the new black.

I’m like the Flash ~insert theme music here~

I hope the imaginary squirrel didn’t get drunk on cocktails.

You can Carly-Simon, and then segue into a CCS (Confirmed Carly-Simon)… But you can’t just go straight into a CCS, that makes no sense!

KIDNAPPED BY ALIENS MID EMAIL…!!!!!! OH NOES!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I play a single song on a loop.
Not for hours and hours though.
Well, maybe.
If I am crying.
Or cutting up the bodies.
That’s not crazy, though, right?

I never make mistakes <= that's one right there, isn't it?

I cooked tofu and bok choy for dinner like a grown up and put it into 2 minute noodles like an adolescent.

It means that you should hum more. And shoot some birds.

Take your pants off and masturbate furiously. It will liven things up.

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12 Comments

  1. “Sometimes I play a single song on a loop.
    Not for hours and hours though.
    Well, maybe.
    If I am crying.
    Or cutting up the bodies.
    That’s not crazy, though, right?”

    I hope you laid plastic down this time Missy…It took HOURS to clean the carpet last time!

    Coug

  2. Ferns…. Loved reading this today. I smiled today for the first time in 2 of the most crap-tastic weeks. We’ve exchanged emails on my boy and the recent struggle of mine… As I feared would happen… He bailed on me. No explanation. No good-bye. Just… Nothing. But your random statements today definately made smile! Thank you! You are made of awesomeness!

    1. “As I feared would happen… He bailed on me. No explanation. No good-bye. Just… Nothing.”

      I am so so sorry to hear that. Ugh. That’s so tough. *hugs*

      I’m glad you at least got a smile out of my silliness today.

      Ferns

    2. Mistress C be on guard against men who don’t care if they hurt folk.

      I hope you can win him back if you still want him. Or cheer up either way.

      Thank you for sharing.

      Satan

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