My sent emails XXVII

22 year old male submissive in San Francisco:

it may be an unconventional request but, how much for a kick in the balls?

Me:

Let’s see now… airfare, accommodation, time lost at work, inconvenience, cost of vacation time taken, compensation for the insult of being treated like a sex worker and finally the kick itself…

I’d say *puts pinky finger to bottom lip* A MILLION DOLLARS!!

Money first thanks, I mean that’s just good business.

Ferns

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14 Comments

  1. Jake: “This seems….. familiar *grin*.”

    *laugh* This was NOT one of the posts I was thinking of when I said I had some ready to go… but you reminded me of it!

    Ferns

  2. Sweets: “I WISH that were unconventional… /le sigh”

    I WISH he had sent me the million dollars… Seriously, some people have no commitment to their wanking! *le sigh*

    Ferns

  3. And thus was it ever so…men “boxing up” sexuality/sensuality into commerce/commodity and women (non-sex workers, that is) being incredulous at their capacity to do such. At least you, Ferns, have the ability to inject some humor into the quagmire.

  4. Anonymous: “And thus was it ever so…men “boxing up” sexuality/sensuality into commerce/commodity and women (non-sex workers, that is) being incredulous at their capacity to do such.”

    I'm not sure most woman (on kink sites, anyway) are incredulous after the first week or so as much as exasperated in a 'really? again?!' kind of way.

    “At least you, Ferns, have the ability to inject some humor into the quagmire.”

    *smile* I find many things utterly hilarious, not least of which, in this case, was the complete fanciful and whimsical impracticality of the request. It tickles me.

    Ferns

  5. Perhaps it was his way of attempting to sound flirtatious… except that it turned out comical. Love your response to him, Ferns!

  6. Savoir_Faire: “Perhaps it was his way of attempting to sound flirtatious…”

    Oh god, this SOO made me laugh, *especially* if I consider the option that you might be right!! 'Flirtatious' in the way of cat calling out of car windows and yelling 'Show us yer tits!' or leering at women out of dark alleys and hissing, “How much, darlin'?”

    I adore your unbridled optimism, please hang onto it!

    Ferns

  7. Étienne: “the insult of being treated like a sex worker”

    To be clear, I don't think being a sex worker is a bad thing, but I do think that a man assuming that *all women* will do sexual things for money as the default is a very different thing.

    “If so, naming your price rather loses you the high ground, as in the old joke. :-)”

    *laugh* Agreed, but I was going for the amusement, not the moral high ground, which would have been much less funny.

    Ferns

  8. Certainly a poor approach, but there is something kind of sweet about coming of age men who actually think wanting to be kicked in the balls is unconventional. Have they not surfed the internet? Then they think, I'll bet I'm the only guy in the world who wants to get kicked in the balls. I should tour the world and women will flock for the chance to do this. They should pay me!

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