Google-fu failures

The following are my favourites of the recent searches that brought people to my blog:

  • why are there a lot of femdom sites and no maledom [this one made me laugh because I imagine the searcher getting here and going ‘oh, for fuck’s sake, not ANOTHER one!?!!’]
  • bdsm flesh hooks buy
  • cock masturbate cum resist throb unnghh
  • casual happy femdom
  • gentle domme matronly
  • spanking pyjama
  • soap making bdsm what is
  • ridiculous femdom look
  • porn video “my cunt up close”
  • naked sweaty female slaves free videos
  • men in kilts fucking
  • is jared leto a domme
  • hey big dick
  • why are most dommes old?
  • willie woofter penis photos
  • female led marriage naked male buttocks
  • domme nerd
  • domina or sweaty
  • deadly fighting dommes

I offer my heartfelt apologies to all of those disappointed folks.

Though I can confirm that yes, Jared Leto is indeed a Domme….

GD Star Rating
loading...

You may also like

24 Comments

  1. Ah – brilliant! I love these. My favourite is the “cock masturbate cum resist throb unnghh” one – very stream of consciousness. And it confirms my already strong suspicions that google can hear what we are thinking. This poor guy was probably just walking past a computer when it stole his thoughts.

    I sincerely hope Jared Leto is a Domme – he'd be magnificant in drag.

  2. Um, Mistress Ferns?

    Please steer clear of those “deadly fighting dommes”. They sound mean, and I don't want your hair ruffled or your beautiful nails broken.

    Thanks,
    Clarence the Ferns Fan.

  3. J: “Ah – brilliant! I love these. My favourite is the “cock masturbate cum resist throb unnghh” one – very stream of consciousness.”

    *laugh* Yes, I love them too! The 'unnghh' is the perfect finishing touch.

    Ferns

  4. Clarence: “Please steer clear of those “deadly fighting dommes”. They sound mean, and I don't want your hair ruffled or your beautiful nails broken.”

    Don't worry, I will steer well clear, I am a delicate flower!

    I realised upon review that I neglected to add the search term 'chainsaw dommes'… I'd like to see 'deadly fighting dommes vs chainsaw dommes'! *laugh*

    Ferns

  5. Sweets: “these are great! haha”

    Aren't they? They are still amusing me… I particularly like 'hey big dick', as if the searcher is trying to start a dialogue with his cock via google. *chuckle* Good luck, guy!

    Ferns

  6. Arnaut Rosseau: “Well, you do strike me as a casual happy domme.”

    I am! And I do appreciate you not choosing some of the others to validate the search results: “Well, you do strike me as someone with a ridiculous femdom look.”

    Ferns

  7. MistressKimm: “Im not going to be able to resist.
    I must google deadly fighting dommes and domme nerd.”

    Heh… Well, if I am highly ranked in those results, I need to take a good long look at my content!

    Ferns

  8. Anonymous: “Domme nerd might be a pretty accurate search, though. I mean, how many other dommes have graph porn?”

    You do make a very compelling point there… Domina Nerdicus Maxima…

    Ferns

  9. hahaha

    you are now the #1 result on google for 'deadly fighting dommes'

    and #4 for domme nerds (right above an erotic story entitled: 'crack whore'

    just thought I would share that and prove that I could not resist.

    -MK

  10. The world needs more casual happy femdom!

    A few favorites from mine-

    “she brings home cum” (look what I got on sale!)

    “i play with my cock” (Good for you. And you were searching for this online because……?)

    “crackheads swallowing cum” (ummmmm………)

  11. MK: “you are now the #1 result on google for 'deadly fighting dommes' and #4 for domme nerds (right above an erotic story entitled: 'crack whore'”

    *laugh* Self fulfilling prophecy!! The fact that we have now said 'crack whore' twice should bump me up there also!!

    Ferns

  12. pureliquidkink: “The world needs more casual happy femdom!”

    It does!!

    “A few favorites from mine-…”

    I LOVE them, thank you! I laughed out loud at “i play with my cock”… still laughing…!!

    Ferns

  13. dishevelleddomina: “men in kilts, mmmmmmm”

    *laugh* I totally agree and our tastes there are in complete alignment!

    I can't at all blame the searcher for that search… men in kilts fucking would be hot.

    Ferns

  14. N: “My favourite is “unnghh”. Who would search for “unnghh”?”

    I know, right?! It still makes me laugh!

    “Also, the soap one makes me wonder.”

    It is strange, that's for sure, however is it any more strange that I actually DO mention soap making in a sex blog? Heh.

    Ferns

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.