Q&A – Protocol

Continuing my experiment with Q&A from Fetlife discussions…

1. Is protocol an integral part of your kink, and if so, are your protocols more physical (kneeling, posture,etc) or verbal (use of titles, granting permission to speak)

I have a mixture of both, they are pretty light and they are at my whim.

2. Does protocol to you mean specific ritual actions and phrases that are for play only, or,

No, some are constants.

3.Are protocols a central and constant part of your relationship?

Yes, some are.

I like to have my submissive call me ‘Ma’am’ pretty much all the time, even though (when I have one), he is my primary romantic partner and my sweetheart. I have little rules for him that reinforce the dynamic (he is not to sit on the furniture without my permission, he is not to start eating before I do, he greets me at the door kneeling when I come home, I have a little ritual for putting on his collar etc).

4. How did you develop your protocols?

I figured out what I liked, what makes me feel warm and fuzzy and melty, and I use those.

5. If you’re a fan, please tell me why you like them, and what you get out of them.

For me and mine, D/s is a way of expressing affection and intimacy. When I tell him what to do, when I ask something of him, when I ‘make’ him do something, I am saying “Come closer, baby”. When he does something submissive, says “Yes, Ma;am”, performs some little ritual, he is saying, “This, sweetheart, is for you.”

I find those things an incredible sweetness… they are hot and close making and I adore them.

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8 Comments

  1. Ahhh who said power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely? In the hands of the right woman, perhaps power breeds intimacy, and absolute power brings absolute intimacy. ;) Is this why we need a woman president?

    Thanks for sharing.

  2. Ferns,

    Ferns wrote: For me and mine, D/s is a way of expressing affection and intimacy. When I tell him what to do, when I ask something of him, when I 'make' him do something, I am saying “Come closer, baby”. When he does something submissive, says “Yes, Ma'am”, performs some little ritual, he is saying, “This, sweetheart, is for you.” I find those things an incredible sweetness… they are hot and close making and I adore them.

    Precisely. Best description of D/s dynamics I've seen yet, Ma'am. :-)

    E.

  3. DC: “In the hands of the right woman, perhaps power breeds intimacy, and absolute power brings absolute intimacy. ;) Is this why we need a woman president?”

    If only it were that simple, though she would be pretty damn busy being intimate with the entire world's population (or at least, their leaders…)…

    Ferns

  4. Elan: “Precisely. Best description of D/s dynamics I've seen yet, Ma'am.”

    *smile* All you need is one other to see it the same way… oh, there you are!

    Ferns

  5. “I figured out what I liked, what makes me feel warm and fuzzy and melty, and I use those.”

    Oh come on! What about the focus group studies and research? What about the graphs and charts? Are you kidding me?

    This is Yardbird by the way. I don't know why I can't sign in.

  6. Yardbird: “Oh come on! What about the focus group studies and research? What about the graphs and charts? Are you kidding me?”

    I would never kid about such important things! I did a focus group with myself, researched my panties, created a mental chart (ok, well, it was really just a bunch of porn images in my head) and we (me, my panties, and my porn boyfriends) all agreed on what hit the 'melty' buttons.

    Very scientific.

    Ferns

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