When vanilla and… not… collide

In the last 24 hours, on two separate occasions, I have told two vanilla men that I write ‘a sex blog’ and given them the name of it *.

That’s two vanilla men who I met while going about my business.

That’s two vanilla men who have my real name and phone number.

That’s two vanilla men who can now peek in here (hello R, L… yes, yes, this post is totally about you!).

That’s two more vanilla men than I have ever told EVER EVER EVER (unless my vanilla ex counts… he doesn’t does he? No no, he totally doesn’t)!

The first very unvanilla vanilla man took one look at the name of the blog and *knew* exactly what it was.

The other vanilla man looked bemused at the name.
— “Hmmm… well, I will have to go and have a look then…”
*laugh* “Yes, yes you will…”

It felt really very strange.

___

* I might expand on the reasons *why* I told them later… for now suffice it to say that there *was* a reason, I did not blurt it out in a tourettes-like fit without context

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28 Comments

  1. N: “Yes, please elaborate!”

    Oh! Politeness is irresistable… damn you!

    I will have a think about whether it is interesting enough for a separate post…

    Ferns

  2. Mistress160: “We look forward to their comments *grin*”

    I would *love* it if they commented!! If not, I will make stuff up about them…

    I might make stuff up anyway… THEN they will comment!

    Ferns

  3. TearyFantasies, Maggie, slapshot: “…popcorn… Alcoholic beverages… big comfy chairs!… chocolate cake!… cookies!”

    Oh yes… we are set! If only I wasn't so damned impatient!! *taps foot*

    Ferns

  4. Brids: “About your blog or that you're into BDSM?”

    Great question! I meant that I write 'a sex blog', though telling of that obviously leads to telling of the BDSM interest.

    I never really tell *anyone* I am into BDSM… there is no reason for it, and I can't imagine it ever coming up with a vanilla man unless I am planning on entering into a personal relationship with him.

    The blog, though, is public and there *was* a reason for telling them (stay tuned, I might even tell!)…

    Ferns

  5. Ferns, your blog (is that the right word?) is great fun and we're both very proud that your writing has come along so much since you were a little girl.

    Love,

    Uncle Simon and Uncle Silas

  6. Uncle Simon and Uncle Silas: “Ferns, your blog (is that the right word?) is great fun and we're both very proud that your writing has come along so much since you were a little girl.”

    Thank you so much, you are both my favourite uncles, ever since you gave me bondage Ken for my birthday when I was 8, and your pride means a lot to me.

    Can I ask, though, please, that you not tell dad about it.

    And also, at the Christmas party… if you are going to take your clothes off and run around singing “Hallelujah” and snogging each other yet AGAIN, could you at least *try* to do it after Aunt Ellie has gone to bed… I worry you will give her a heart attack.

    Kthxbye.

    Love, Ferns

  7. Okay, I'm now going to bite. I request pictures of bondage Ken, more backstory if possible, and some sort of story about running around naked singing Hallelujah, as that sounds like such an amazingly funny story.
    J

  8. “if you are going to take your clothes off and run around singing “Hallelujah” and snogging each other yet AGAIN, could you at least *try* to do it after Aunt Ellie has gone to bed…”

    If *this* is what you grew up around… it explains A LOT!

  9. Anonymous: “I request pictures of bondage Ken, more backstory if possible, and some sort of story about running around naked singing Hallelujah, as that sounds like such an amazingly funny story.”

    I hope Uncle Simon and Uncle Silas will come back and elaborate… after all it is *their* story… They might be shy now, though… after the delurking…

    Ferns

  10. “Maggie: “If *this* is what you grew up around… it explains A LOT!”

    Isn't this what everyone's family is like”

    Only in the more southern states of the USA

    Coug

  11. “That's two more vanilla men than I have ever told EVER EVER EVER”

    So… vanilla women. What about them?

    Do all your vanilla women friends know about this blog or only six or seven of them? What's happening in the world of Ferns & Her Vanilla Gal Pals?

    I feel we're missing something major in your life here. Tell us about your vanilla women friends. Do you text each other life affirming sentiments? Are you all excited about The Royal Wedding? Is there a meditation retreat coming up you've group booked?

    Really, life isn't all about your sub men, potential sub men, Domme Sisters and cake.

    Cakeboy

  12. Cakeboy: “So… vanilla women. What about them? “

    We get together, talk about kissing and sex, model lingerie, have pillow fights and make out. You know… the usual…

    “Really, life isn't all about your sub men, potential sub men, Domme Sisters and cake.”

    Pffftt… Don't be silly, of course it is.

    Ferns

  13. “I hope Uncle Simon and Uncle Silas will come back and elaborate… after all it is *their* story… They might be shy now, though… after the delurking…”

    Not at all! You are the apple of our eyes!

    Everyone: when Ferns was but yay high to a grasshopper, she'd run around excitedly, grabbing and whacking at whatever stuck out at her at eye level.

    What fun we all had! OK, we men would always end up nursing bruises in the groinal region where she'd head-butted us as hard as she could – be we could take that. None of us, either, would bat an eyelid when Fernsykins (as we used to call her) would merrily produce a Walther PPK automatic and shoot us up the arse so badly we'd end up in the Casualty department!

    Ah, such wonderful times. She was such a dear, sweet little thing . . .

    Uncles Simon and Silas.

  14. A female friend of mine thinks I need more guy friends. So she's introducing me to men she knows, saying, “This is my friend. He's great. We dated, but he's too kinky for me.” If anything, this is causing the men to shake my hand harder and smile more.

    I think if you're loud and proud about your kink, without being explicit and gross, people show respect because you're being real.

    PS: First time reading your blog, and first comment. Very nice to run across you again, Ms. Ferns. :-)

  15. Uncles Simon and Silas: “Ah, such wonderful times. She was such a dear, sweet little thing…”

    Still am, of course… still am…

    Though I don't go around doing groinal head butts at parties anymore, more's the pity…

    Ferns

  16. RedMagic1: “I think if you're loud and proud about your kink, without being explicit and gross, people show respect because you're being real.”

    I wouldn't argue with you there, though despite all appearances here, I consider what goes on in my personal relationships… well… personal. It really never comes up when I am interacting out in the world.

    The odd thing about this sort of exposure for me is that parts of this *are* explicit and wayyy more information than 'man I just met' really needs to know.

    “PS: First time reading your blog, and first comment. Very nice to run across you again, Ms. Ferns.”

    Lovely to see you here, RedMagic1 *smile*… I hope to see you pop up again.

    Ferns

  17. I'll admit that I laughed hard at the groin headbutting. In all seriousness, I'm a bit lost about the PPK comment, as I'm in the states and whatnot, but from what I understand, you guys were being terrorized with a plastic pellet gun.

    With the loud and proud about your kink comment, I think that there is a limit depending on the area and ones group. Alluding to the kink without touching on any specifics has always done me well.

    J

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