I’m back…

And… I’m back! Missed me dincha? It’s okay, you can admit it, I won’t tell!

I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has been so sweet to me, both here in comments and in private emails. Your empathy and support has been really wonderful. Never underestimate the kindness of strangers.

I’m going okay here, I miss my boy* madly, but I am okay. We have exchanged a couple of sweet tentative emails, but we are both licking our wounds, and contact at the moment is a little raw. It is hard for me to leave him alone, I worry about him, I want to know that he is coping, I want to comfort him, and say sweet things to him and call him pet names and tell him everything will be okay, but I know that hearing from me will draw him back to me, will hurt him, so I am cold turkeying at the moment. It is difficult when I am used to doing what I want with him.

I have been filling my days with irrelevancies and indulgences:

  • I changed my template here and played around with the stylesheet to customise it a bit (I haven’t a clue what I am doing, but I like that sort of thing). Thank you to those who have expressed an opinion on it to date.
  • I bought new shoes, two pairs of fabulous heels (like that surprises anyone, right?).
  • I worked, as always, half heartedly going through the motions like some mechanical wind up doll.
  • I had a whole packet of tim tams for dinner one night.
  • I bought a new hair straightener for too much money (yeah, that was kind of dull for me too).
  • I read a book (Perfume by Patrick Süskind), which is strange and violent and must have been a complete nightmare to translate from German.
  • I started reading a book about female serial killers <= see that, that’s evidence if I ever kill anyone now… You, dear readers, saw it coming…
  • I entertained my cousins who were here from the Netherlands and did my best to speak a little Dutch (I am rubbish at it).
  • I had some great meals out with friends and drank far too much wine.

My irrelevencies do not extend to doing housework, so the place is a mess, which I hate, but I have no interest in doing anything about it. I am living in squalor, people!! Where’s a good service submissive when you need one, hmmm?

* I am still calling him ‘my boy’, I feel as if I should stop doing that, but I can’t, not just yet.

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14 Comments

  1. Just a gentle tap on the shoulder to say “HI There!” and that I hope that you are starting to feel a bit better.

    Don't worry about the housework. A little squalor never killed anyone.

    Tim Tams? … I had to Google that one. They look good. If I can find them here, I'll get some and see how well they go with beer.

  2. I've been thinking about you quite a bit. Housework, smoushwork. It'll still be there when you feel like doing it or find a service sub. When I've had a break-up the most I can handle is just breathing.

    Tim Tams…I don't think we have those around here…mmm

    Faith

  3. slapshot: “Just a gentle tap on the shoulder to say “HI There!” and that I hope that you are starting to feel a bit better.”

    Thank you for the tap and 'hi there' back.

    “Tim Tams? … I had to Google that one. They look good. If I can find them here, I'll get some and see how well they go with beer.”

    Tim Tams are uniquely Australian and they are the BEST EVER EVER EVER! If you find them and are game, you can try a Tim Tam slam with your beer (actually it only works with hot liquid, but still, you can give it a go!).

    Ferns

  4. Brids: “Geez…So much for me thinking it was safe to read your blog…”

    *smile* Now did I TELL you it was safe, Brids?

    Actually, had I thought of it, I *would* have thought this one was pretty safe. I bought shoes!!

    Ferns

  5. Anonymous: “Housework, smoushwork. It'll still be there when you feel like doing it or find a service sub.”

    I know, I hate that. The housework fairies should come in the middle of the night and take care of all that!

    “When I've had a break-up the most I can handle is just breathing.”

    I still have those moments… “in-out-in-out…”.

    “Tim Tams…I don't think we have those around here…mmm”

    I know they sell them in Canada now, but I am not sure about the US… hmmmm… Tim Tams…!

    Ferns

  6. I love the fact you can buy Timtams at Australian international airports … someone finally realized how many demands we receive from overseas friends. The problem is, if I buy them at the airport, I tend to eat them all on the plane *grin*.

  7. Mistress160: “I love the fact you can buy Timtams at Australian international airports … someone finally realized how many demands we receive from overseas friends. The problem is, if I buy them at the airport, I tend to eat them all on the plane *grin*.”

    That's exactly the reason I *can't* buy them at the airport… in fact, they may not even make it onto the plane!

    I always buy the specialty Tim Tams when they release them (I mean, it's my patriotic duty to at least try them, y'know?), but always come back to the originals.

    Yummy!

    Ferns

  8. “Actually, had I thought of it, I *would* have thought this one was pretty safe. I bought shoes!!”

    See? I bet you would have just forgotten about me and I'd never be able to come back. And the shoes didn't make up for the 400 other sad things you mentioned. Unless they were made of fish…

  9. I just found one of my poems that was translated into Dutch by a woman I knew in college. It’s not a great poem. I can never get rid of it, though, because I wrote it for her and she rewrote it for me. I can remember her voice when she recited it on the phone. She purred it into my ear.

    Memories!

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