Sunday curiosity #9

Disclaimer, for regular readers…

I love that you come here and get a sense of me and my relationship, I love that you are interested at all, I love it when you comment on something that has touched you, that you sometimes share little snippets of your own lives with me, that you can relate to things that I have written, that you offer support when I need it. That is a wonderful and much appreciated benefit that I get from writing here.

I have mentioned before that I do not want to preface my posts with disclaimers, and nor have I ever worried about chronology, my posts are snippets plucked out of my mind, and I think one of my commenters got it exactly right when he noted that “It is like viewing your life through a series of flash points” (thank you robert, that was spot-on). I don’t care to put them in context because it’s largely irrelevant to what I want to convey. I started this blog because I could find very little erotica or stories about female domination that I could relate to, none of it really reflected my experience, most of it was foreign to me, like reading about life on another planet that was not only strange, but cold and uninteresting. A planet where submissive men always got blow jobs while tied up by latex-clad hotties, or got treated very harshly by the same type of hottie without any sensuality, or where D/s revolved around ‘acts’ and not people, or the other extreme reality where D/s seemed to be all about dominant women getting their chores done. I looked at all of that and just didn’t get it, where was the joy and the relationship and the hotness and the intimacy and the hunger and the vulnerability, all those things that make D/s relationships worthwhile and beautiful. So I started to take my writing out of the private into the public to show a different face to a relationship with a dominant woman, to step out a little from the stereotype.

I am grateful to now have some regular readers, it gets kind of depressing to write into the void, and if you enjoy what I write in some way, then I am happy. But having some regular readers also means that I feel a strange sense of responsibility, I don’t want to hurt your feelings (so funny, to say that), I don’t want to mislead you, to have you make assumptions and let you go ahead and believe them without my correcting you. I have written a couple of posts where I have been hurt, where a relationship ended, and I feel guilty if I don’t immediately clarify that I am ok, I don’t want you to worry about me unnecessarily. I want to save those kindnesses for a time when I really need them, I am not wanting to ‘cry wolf’ with those who show concern because I do appreciate it very much, and one day, I may write here seeking some kind words and sympathy and I don’t want to have worn out your patience on false alarms.

By way of a general disclaimer, and out of respect for my regular readers, I wanted to specifically say this: If a post does not relate to the boy I own right now, it will not have the category ‘my boy‘ on it – that category is his and his alone. I point this out to avoid explaining, for each post, if it is about my current relationship or not. It doesn’t matter, really, in terms of my view of D/s relationships, or my thoughts on how to create intimacy, or the intensity that play can bring, or about exchanges that are difficult or cute or funny or hot, or about how it can and should be about more than Goddesses in leather punishing lowly worms… in terms of all of that, it really doesn’t matter, but I know that many of you are following my blog and seeing my relationship change and evolve and are interested in how and where it is going, so I wanted to say it out loud.

With the categories that I use right now… ‘my boy‘ is my current beautiful boy; ‘snowflake‘ was my last submissive; ‘tom‘ stands for ‘The Other Men’ and covers past relationships or less significant others. And sometimes, you know, I might just make stuff up and it might not relate to any of those!

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10 Comments

  1. Mistress160: “So this is a good system to bring in … thank you”

    You're welcome! It is actually not new, I have been tagging posts this way all along, I have just never explicitly explained what those categories meant (and really, who pays attention to those tags unless there is one called something like 'dirty monkey sex'…?! Hmmm… I will have to think about that!).

    Ferns

  2. Mistress160: “Oh no, not the dreaded “dirty monkey sex” tag…”

    YES! The dreaded 'dirty monkey sex' tag… You know you can't run from the 'dirty monkey sex' tag… expect it when you least expect it!!

    In the meantime, I shall practice my evil laugh…
    bwuhahahahaha… etc.

    Ferns

  3. “the category 'my boy' on it – that category is his and his alone.”

    If I may digress a moment, that statement evoques such a lovely, warm feeling in a sub, a feeling of being a treasured possession. 'my boy'. It's whispered quietly from sweet lips to his ear along with a light kiss; his head is nestled in your arm against your breast, as fingers run through his hair, as the other hand slowly explores the rest of his naked body. The first 'my boy' brings a sweet sigh, the second 'my boy' brings a slight shudder, the third 'my boy' and six inches grow to eight. And then

    OK, I'm back…anyway, thanks for the nice digression.

  4. Yardbird: “If I may digress a moment, that statement evoques such a lovely, warm feeling in a sub, a feeling of being a treasured possession…thanks for the nice digression…”

    Oh you're welcome, it's sweet when something sparks a day-dreamy train of thought isn't it? Sometimes the smallest things can trigger an unexpected reaction.

    Ferns

  5. A lot of people discount expressions of concern and good will from people they don't know face to face. Some of the readers of my blog are very dear to me and have treated me wonderfully over the years. I can completely understand the desire to let yours know you are “ok” and make certain they understand where you're coming from. I believe any kindness in life should be valued highly and acknowledged as often as possible. You seem to do a nice job with your readers where this is concerned.

  6. Lady Julia: “I believe any kindness in life should be valued highly and acknowledged as often as possible.”

    That's a lovely sentiment, I agree.

    Ferns

  7. Vague: “Hey, I killed characters in some of my stories and didn't get an “Are you ok?”. Hehe, guess we know which one of us is more popular.”

    Ha! Me me me!

    Seriously though V, you present your stories as fiction and your characters as, well, 'characters', so that's how I (and presumably your other readers) relate to them. I have never assumed or thought that the male character in your stories was you or that you were talking about your own relationship. I think you have been quite careful to cultivate that distance in your writing and to present it as fiction.

    I have felt sorry for your characters at times, and have even expressed empathy for them in my comments to you, but I would feel presumptuous to assume that it was you since you have never given any indication that it is.

    You mentioned to me once that you felt a little awkward and intrusive commenting here because you are commenting on my life (I seem to recall you feeling like you were saying “…nice fornication…” to me… heh…), and you would be right. But it is that level of exposure that is both difficult and rewarding for me.

    Ferns

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