Happy Femdom Story: Melusine

I received a lovely email and a link to a happy femdom story in my inbox recently. I am always so delighted to get stories about happy F/m relationships and am thrilled that Melusine is allowing me to share it with you.

Melusine wrote:

First I would like to say your blog has been invaluable to me, as I am exploring the wonderful life of becoming a 24/7 domme with my husband of ten years. It is perhaps a somewhat unique story, and thought you might enjoy it as a “happy femdom story”. I have published it here in a blog I began in order to record my experiences.

Thank you for your writings, they have helped me immensely.

I enjoyed this wonderful story so very much and I’m sure my readers will also: Thank you for sharing it *happy sigh*.

Enjoy.

Author: Melusine Waters

True Nature Revealed: Domme Self Discovery

It was probably around four in the morning when the phone had been silent for a few minutes. I heard an almost inaudible answer when I asked if the boy on the other end of the line was still awake. He was hundreds of miles away. Sleep was something neither of us needed as much as we needed each other. I needed his devotion to me, to know he was waiting by his phone until I called, to know he went to incredible lengths just to contact me. I needed this odd feeling, something I had no words for. His timid shyness awoke a predatory urge in me, he was mine as a rabbit is a tiger’s prey. I had him entirely in my hands. And yet… I didn’t.

We were very young, I was about 18 and he was 15, and our relationship was quite platonic (as far as he knew). He lived across the country and we wrote letters for nearly a year before I caught him in my web, then we talked by telephone every day. For years we called one another, staying up for hours on the phone, and as time passed we both started to grow into young adults. He began to make friends, then he had a girlfriend, and I started to have boyfriends of my own, but our friendship and long conversations by telephone never ceased. While his world began to open in front of him and his experiences and relationships grew, I felt helplessly and deeply that I wanted him all to myself. I wanted to create our own secret place where I could keep him hidden from the world, to exist only for myself and for my pleasure.

I concealed these feelings for a very long time. These thoughts were “controlling” and “crazy”, “unhealthy”. Meanwhile I began engaging in destructive and meaningless relationships. I had no idea what a “domme” was, and I certainly couldn’t understand that these impulses inside of me, my instincts towards my boy, were manifestations of our suppressed dynamic. I lived my adolescent life without this awareness and suffered years of profound torment, confusion and chaos. Now after more than a decade since this boy and I met, entirely by accident, we have discovered our true nature.

The day when I finally told my boy that I loved him I knew very little of how he felt toward me. We were both in long term relationships when I told him and then suddenly, with only a few words, the world as it had existed began to shift. Separated by mountains, plains, rivers and countless miles, our spirits, awakened by my affirmation, summoned our union. No long roads could possibly separate us, no force of man or nature or time would bar our path.

The old realms of our existence quickly began to dissolve and within months.. we were finally united. He was barely eighteen then. “I want you here.” I said and he obeyed. Our relationship was still platonic but when he arrived we began exploring our desires for each other. His unique reaction to my touch and to my voice, the look in his eyes, the surrender of his control, I would find nearly a decade later, was the other half of our unknown nature.

I procured our apartment, furnished it, and waited until he arrived. I imagined my dreams of him, my boy pet, in my apartment and hidden from the world. He was (and still is) an amazingly beautiful creature. It began to feel like I had captured a myth, and I wanted him to belong to me. Religion, a male dominated society and popular culture, however, had corrupted my instincts. Truthfully, I was poisoned. What kind of person could feel this way? What demon inside me would desire this? My very traditional religious upbringing forced me to concede to guilt and self doubt.

The strength of our bond endured despite this unnatural suppression but for ten years its effects had consequences for both of us. We were happy, but something wasn’t right. I tried desperately to fit the traditional role of the good submissive wife and my boy also tried to be the typical dominant male. We both suffered. We lived that way until only a few months ago, on New Year’s eve.

We were lying in bed talking, waiting for the clock to strike midnight when the conversation turned and he began to act very self conscious. After much prodding, he admitted very shyly that he would like me to “tell him what to do”. Suddenly my mind and heart were racing.

“Like… all the time?” I asked instinctively, my heart beating faster.

“…yes,” he replied softly, reluctant with his face buried in my shoulder.

We explored this idea for hours, well into the morning. We didn’t have words or names for it. He told me about a program he had heard on the radio that had passingly mentioned a kind of relationship where one person has complete control over the other, all the time. They were called “Dominant” and “Submissive”. It seems almost impossible that we had no language for this until now. These two words had extraordinary power and suddenly, for the second time in our lives together, a few simple words have triggered an immense transformation. The world as it had existed has again started to shift. This grand metamorphoses as it unfolds has slowly started to reveal our true forms and I realize now that even when we were very young, this primal magnetism had drawn us together against great odds and distances. Now we are finally free to explore each other fully. How strange and empowering, to have this beautiful, altered state of mind called subspace, described in detail, something he had experienced his whole life, yet something he couldn’t understand or name! How strange and empowering to have my boy fully surrender to me, after this long improbable adventure of ours and finally kneel at my feet like the pet I always envisioned him to be.

Again, the old realms of our existence are fading. I am finally confident that I can become the dominant woman of my fate and vision. We are taking it slowly. The curiosity and the exploration is electric with the life and desires that were hidden within us and we can now finally fulfill our roles that we were destined to experience together. We can finally be who we are, who we have always been, together.

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This post is part of an ongoing project to share happy, positive femdom relationship stories.  If you have a story and are willing to share it, I’d love to host it here. Please email it to me at ferns -at- domme-chronicles -dot- com.

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e[lust] #94

Welcome to Elust 94

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #95 Start with the rules, come back June 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Always Coming Second

Balance

THREESOME – the card game

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

The #500words Project ~ 2

#Pussy Pride

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

No Eligible Posts

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

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Reader Q&A: Desire to please, LDRs, expectations [audio]

Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 3.0 markMusic: Bensound

This long overdue Q&A (aren’t they always?!) includes the following:

  • Desire to please vs hard limits, what to do?
  • Is there an outfit that says ‘Domme’?
  • How do I help a new sub who is struggling?
  • “She wanted a hands-free orgasm, so she tied him to the bed and used his mouth.”
  • LDRs and ‘how to’
  • I made someone fail their exams, maybe, I don’t know… :P
  • How do I get what I want after a change from ‘D/s relationship potential’ to ‘lovers’
  • What’s your favourite thing about tying up boys?
  • How to deal with a request from my Domme when I’m struggling?
  • And more!

Huge thanks to My Fabulous Man Who Knows Everything for transcribing the audio for me. He’s an absolute gem.

Regular listeners will be really excited probably be ambivalent about a new piece of intro music… oooh, fancy! I’d have squeed about it in the podcast, but I added it after the fact, so no Ferns-squeeing to be had there. Probably just as well.

I’m aiming to create a Pavlovian response to that little snippet if I keep using it :P.

The Domme Chronicles podcast is available on iTunes, so you can subscribe to it if you want to be sure to get my audio porn delivered straight to your ear holes.

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Want to ask me something? Pop on over to my Ask Me page and do it (though if it’s something time-critical, I suggest you ask your question pretty much anywhere else…!). It’s completely anonymous, even to me, so nobody will know it was you…

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Full transcript after the jump…

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Q&A: Historical (pre-2013)

The pre-2013 Q&A below was previously and awkwardly placed on the ‘Ask Me’ page.

I put them there in the days when I thought I wouldn’t get many questions, so I didn’t think it was worth creating separate posts for them.

Then the page just got longer and longer, until… well, it just got stupidly and endlessly long. Like over 13,000+ words long. Apparently it takes me 13,000+ words to figure out that maybe I’m going to get enough questions to create separate posts for them. I’m a slow learner.

So, a trip down memory lane follows. If I said anything stupid, I blame past-me: She was a bit of a know-nothing show off…

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Want to ask me something in the here and now, though? Pop on over to my Ask Me page and do it. It’s completely anonymous, even to me, so nobody will know it was you…

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Q&A from before September 2013 after the jump.
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Performance

Sometimes I feel like my entire life is a performance for some unknown audience outside of myself.

I had a good cry this morning. Like you do when shit happens.

I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and wondered who it was for.

If I write about it here, was it for you, dear readers?

Some angsty vulnerable moment that I subconsciously know I will share later? Some act that I am performing for the purpose of putting it into some public script after the fact?

If I don’t write about it, or tell anyone, and nobody sees, does it mean anything?

If a tree falls in the forest and etc.

Sometimes it feels like it is ALL performance. All of it. My relationships, my career, my emotions, my entire life, everything.

None of it feels real, none of it matters, they are all just different acts in which I sing pitch-perfect songs in carefully choreographed dances that demonstrate how human I am.

I’m good at it. Successful in most realms, playing the various parts to such perfection that I excel at most of the plays I put on. I’m an accomplished student, a caring daughter, a supportive sister, a successful worker, a kind friend, a loving partner, an impressive dominant, a clever and carefully curated actor of my own creation.

Audience applauds, presents me with a bunch of roses, I smile and humbly accept them.

I take a bow, and move off to another stage, put on a different costume and perform again.

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Dating Schmating

I haven’t written about this: I might still, at some stage. But sometimes the whys and wherefores of difficult things are better left to sit quietly unspoken until there is no power left in them.

Suffice it to say that I took a hit and feel like I am now gathering up my various resources, hoarding them until they are back at full strength.

I took a tentative step out and reactivated my vanilla dating profile, put up some new pictures. It was a litany of fail: Ridiculous one-liners, incredibly dull profiles, terrible off-putting photos. I swear there is some factory somewhere where they churn out these shadow-men in endless numbers. After a while they all just seem like the same one dimensional cut-out with slightly different shapes.

To be fair, I did get two interesting emails: both from men in the US… bah! One smart and funny submissive type who turned off his location filter to find me (silly boy, who wants to see glimpses of the untouchable?) and one vanilla type who had a stunningly fascinating profile and who had not given two seconds of consideration to the actual consequences of distance.

I deactivated the profile about a week later. I didn’t have the appetite for it. My resources are still too depleted.

On the upside, I have been talking to the sweet boy with whom I had a service date last year. We have been in touch on and off since then. He has also struck some experiences recently that have left him feeling a little raw.

I invited him to visit for another service date: He will wash my car, kneel before me, serve me champagne, massage my hands and feet, colour my nails, and we will talk about things that don’t matter much.

It will be simple and sweet and uncomplicated. A small reminder of who we are when we are not being buffeted by the world.

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Still single, just sayin’

I’ve been getting cute little congratulations about this very misleading post.

It’s super sweet and I do appreciate that people are happy about my apparent coupledom.

BUT…

In case you missed it, Drew is gay. Like Double Gold Star gay, as gay as the day is long (and I mean days-at-the-North-Pole-in-the-middle-of-summer kind of long). Still, I’m putting together a registry for cute couples gifts. Because yes :P.

All that to say: Come at me, amazing submissive men. I’m still single.

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My fabulous American boyfriend

We don’t get to see each other often, and we never have enough time together.

But he reminds me of all the good things in the world. And every moment we spend together is a gift.

Champagne and hugs and intimate chat.

More of all of those please.

Edited to add: More about my (gay!) American boyfriend here and here

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You can

We are all scared, I said.

I know but I’m really scared.

Of what?

Everything. I’m scared of everything.

Well cut that shit out. A short laugh. Not unkind.

I can’t.

You can. Pick them out one at a time, those fears. A small one first. Take out your sword and your shield and brandish them like a warrior in full flight. Run at it hard. Like your life depends on it. When you get closer you’ll see: it’s not so big. Then pick the next one. Fight those battles.

I can’t.

You can. Here, take my sword. It is old and worn, but sharp like a razor. Straight and true.

I can’t.

You can. You will get stronger after the first one, and the next one, and the one after that. I’m right here. I’ll back you up. You can do this.

I can?

You can.

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Sharyn Ferns: Femdom Author

Here’s a preview of what I’ve* been doing in the silence: A dedicated web page for the books I’m not writing :P. It’s so pretty!

*and by ‘I’, I mean ‘me and My Fabulous Man Who Knows Everything’ (MFMWKE just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?) who found a solution for every problem for me, even (especially) the ones I created myself with my exuberance and lack of skill.

Launching soon with champagne and glitter and maybe free stuff *smile*.

The underlying truth of it is that having projects to work on helps me to heal, to feel better, more positive, to get outside of my own head. Achieving things is fun and having challenges is distracting. All of those things are good for me right now.

That vs moping around feeling sorry for myself (the temptation is there, trust me).

This weekend, I will catch up with Drew, my gorgeous American boyfriend: we will have drinks and food and whisper secrets to each other. After that I will travel to visit family, which will also be full of drinks and food and (much less interesting) secrets.

And then maybe, MAYBE, I will be in a better frame of mind to write more of substance. I can’t promise anything, but I’m hopeful.

I’m sending the web address to the lovely folks on my mailing list so they can have a sneak peek: are you on it yet? Why not?

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