The beauty of submissive men [Repost]

In 2012, I asked for photos showing the beauty of submissive men in all their many and varied forms.

My goal was to gather these anonymous photos and produce something beautiful with them, something that shows the glorious diversity and beauty of submissive men, all stunningly different and unique.

I received over a hundred different kinds of photos and I used them to create this tribute: I thought it was worth reposting.

Submissive men: A celebration of beauty.

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Happy Femdom Stories: The book

I’m still working on the next book of my ‘How To’ Femdom Series (it’s ‘How to Find A Dominant Woman’ and it should be out soon) but in the meantime I am lining up my next project.

Long time followers of this blog will know that I started asking F/m folks for their happy femdom stories way back in 2011 because we don’t see enough (any?!) stories of real-life happy working F/m relationships and those stories are not only uplifting and wonderful, but that kind of representation is important.

Since then I’ve shared over 40 amazing and wonderful stories from generous contributors *happies!!*.

So what could be better than reading about lovely and loving D/s relationships?

HAVING A BOOK FULL OF THEM!

Right?! Of course!

I’m compiling all of the ‘Happy Femdom Stories’ that people so kindly shared into a book. I’m not looking to make any money: I will give the book away for free. This is just distributing the stories via a different medium, and hopefully to a wider audience.

I know that it sounds grandiose to say that these stories are important, but I’m serious about that.

With everything that is out there on the internet, it’s too easy to believe that happy healthy F/m relationships don’t happen, aren’t even possible, are in the fantasy realm of fairies and unicorns. Representative stories like these are positive and uplifting and hopeful and illuminating, and they are hard to find out there in the world.

Obviously since I originally shared those stories, people’s situations and relationships may have changed both in good and not-so-good ways. Life is like that, but these stories are genuine experiences that happened, they are fine examples of what’s possible and real, and they are so worth sharing.

So stay tuned, and below a call to action!

To those who so generously shared their stories:

I have contacted everyone whose email address I still have, but some have been lost over time, so if you didn’t get an email from me please let me know if you don’t want me to put your story into the book: ferns -at- domme-chronicles -dot- com.

To those who have happy femdom stories they haven’t shared yet:

I am always ALWAYS looking for more happy femdom stories, so now’s a great time to send me yours. My original call out for stories will give you more detail about the sort of thing I’m after.

 

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e[lust] #95

Welcome to Elust 95

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #96 Start with the rules, come back July 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Size Matters

Driven to Distraction

Under the Sea

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

My London Bridge

A Kind Touch

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Organised Orgasms

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

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When men say ‘no’ to me

I contacted a couple of local submissive men on a BDSM dating site.

They said “No thanks” to me. Politely and pleasantly.

I said, “Okay, best of luck finding what you’re looking for.”

The End.

___

Things I didn’t say:

“But why?”
“No, really, explain to me why.”
“You never even gave me a chance.”
“Pleeeeaasssseeee, please pleaseplease.”
“You’re really missing out, you know…”
“Fucking arsehole, no wonder you’re single.”
“No woman would want you anyway you ugly fat creep.”

OR ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY LIKE THAT.

___

Taking rejection well isn’t hard. It really isn’t.

Just sayin’.

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Wonder Woman is glorious

'General Antiope ~/~ Wonder Woman ~/~ Queen Hippolyta'

**  Spoilers **

Wonder Woman is glorious. Glorious.

That is the perfect word for how I felt watching it. I cried, I laughed, I loved it.

It’s glorious in a way that makes me so very happy. The central character, the supporting cast, the Amazons (oh my god, the Amazons!), the movie as a whole.

I don’t review movies here, that’s not what this blog is for, but I talked about Furiosa for the same reason I am talking about Wonder Woman: Action movies starring women, aw yeah!

It makes me delighted to know that little kids will grow up thinking that female super heroes and action stars in movies are the norm and rather than *gasp female! Whaaaa?!* it will be more ‘who’d win a fight: Wonder Woman or Batman?’ (Wonder Woman, obvs :P). We aren’t there yet or this wouldn’t even be a thing, but I’m made happy by seeing these movies being produced, this one being directed by a woman, and seeing them be successful. It puts a dent in the ‘ain’t nobody gonna pay to see that!’ argument that has been simmering in the American movie industry forever.

I can nitpick at it (more female characters! less skin! proper armour!), but I’m not going to (well apart from that little bit there).

A wonderful surprise for me was Robin Wright as Amazonian General Antiope because, you know, older women being badass is totally my thing.

I’ve just binge-watched House of Cards and she is wonderful in it: the cool psychopathic uber villain always impeccably dressed in designer suits and killer heels. I didn’t know she was even in this so when I saw her I was stupidly excited.

More after the jump (a bunch of gifs so if you can’t be bothered loading it up, don’t click… but trust me, you will want to see these…).

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60 facts about me

This random list came out of a little game on Twitter (you follow me on the Twitter, right? Of course you do! Then you know all of this already…).

  1. I have sex toys that I have literally never used. Virgin sex toys: that’s a thing, right?
  2. I usually masturbate every day, even if I don’t really feel like it
  3. Re number 2: I have a genuine fear that if I don’t keep my (literal… heh) hand in, my libido will disappear (‘use it or lose it’)
  4. I don’t really understand people who have very elaborate masturbation sessions: lots of toys, lots of time, just… who can be bothered?
  5. Re 4: I feel like I’m missing out on some magical experience, but every time I think about trying it I also think ‘arrggghh so much work’
  6. My internet is so fucking slow that Tumblr is almost unusable. This is not a bad thing: Tumblr is a time suck of pretties
  7. Bit scared I will run out of things to tell you if I get too many of these. Y’all can stop now. I’m not that interesting…
  8. If I know your full name, I will google the hell out of you if I’m interested and like you. I MUST KNOW ALL THE THINGS
  9. Dude I contacted from the dating site is 6’7. Google says 6’9. I guess if you’re that tall a couple inches it doesn’t matter much…
  10. Update on that guy: I need to check the dating site for messages. I don’t get notifications from ANY dating sites. The internet hates me
  11. Tallest man I’ve dated was 6’5. I made him stop in front of a shop front on our first date so I could look at the height difference. I don’t know why, but he didn’t SEEM tall.
  12. Bambi (6’2) and the Cougarling (6’3) DID seem tall: HOT! I think I have a height fetish.
  13. Coincidentally: song on rage right now has Iggy Pop yelling at me that he’s 5’1 (he’s not, he’s 5’7, I looked it up).
  14. I used to masturbate with a soft-skinned baby doll I had when I was a child. What kind of toy maker makes dolls out of Vixskin?! :P
  15. I once asked a foot fetishist to polish my toenails. He was 100% not interested in that & refused. Filed under ‘submissives who aren’t’
  16. The 3 silver thumb rings I wear were really cheap. I’ve had them over 20 yrs, surprised they are still in great shape. Love them so much
  17. 99% of the time, breakfast is coffee and fried eggs.
  18. I used to play piano. Used to keep my hand in with Solfegietto which sounds impressive, but is easy to play.  I can’t even play that piece any more. Suspect I’d struggle with chopsticks now
  19. My eye-hand co-ordination is woeful. Being tall & athletic-looking sets false expectations for every sports-minded person I’ve ever met
  20. The first time I felt random lust was Baryshnikov’s slow splits up against a wall (this whole bit, unf)

    GET OUT OF THE FRAME HINES, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR AWKWARD FLAILING!

  21. I find renovation and house hunting shows entertaining. I don’t even know why. Maybe I just like to see how other people live.
  22. My next book is ‘How to Find a Female Dominant’: I’m paralysed by the boundaries of the topic because it’s HUGE & I want ‘short & sharp’
  23. My hair is really mostly silver-grey under the blonde. One day I will do a full Dame Judi Dench*
    *Goddess
  24. I think motorbikes are sexy. Not least because when a man is sitting on one, it accentuates his V-shape. Plus leathers :)
  25. I used to have a scooter. If I ever walked around with my helmet, I felt like I was faking being a cool biker chick
  26. I let two boys have a go on my scooter at different times. They both crashed it because ‘ha ha cute girlie toy, imma show off’ *crash*
  27. When people send me friend requests on FL without a message, I look at their feed: Is it going to add to my FL experience?
    No?
    ‘Reject’
  28. I hate being cold. My hands and feet tend to be really freezing in winter. Which is actually useful for bedtime torture :)
  29. I never watch TV series until the entire series is done. I’d rather wait 2 months for the lot than wait a week between episodes.
  30. I envy ppl their positive experiences with dating, their ability to easily find ppl to get excited about (even if it doesn’t pan out)
  31. I keep a spreadsheet of relationships & meaningful encounters I’ve had. Nerding out my sex life :P
  32. My incredibly sweet german shepherd lived a happy life for 13 years. This is her being adorable with my flatmate’s kitten, RingwormHead
  33. I love fabulous lingerie, but I never wear the little that I have. Very much a ‘black g-string & done’ kind of woman
  34. re 34. For example, I tried on and loved and did not buy this, but look how gorgeous!
  35. I have never sent a picture of my pussy to anyone ever. I can’t imagine I ever would
  36. When I read stories about sex clubs, the bodily fluids (usually not cum: squirting, ‘wetness’) on beds/couches/chairs squick me out
  37. I think it would be fun to attend a BDSM event in a full gimp mask. I’ve only put one on once, I felt & looked scary and powerful
  38. I avoid using people’s names: I’m so forgetful that I’m scared I’ll get them wrong. It’s easier than you’d think
  39. I do not own a single pair of shorts.
  40. I don’t like texting. Not just because I’m bad at it (in terms of proficiency), but because there is an expectation of immediacy. Nope.
  41. I really like to cuddle on the couch and binge watch something good. Maybe some popcorn, champagne, kissing
  42. I have 4 laptops in my house. Two don’t work at all, one shuts down whenever it feels like it (Simon!), George is my current love
    Bahahaha! Simon heard me and went ‘nup’. So now I have THREE that don’t work at all. And George :P
  43. When I buy junk food (rarely), I buy ALL THE THINGS. Then I will have one bit of it & I’ll be over it. But then it’s in the house sooo..
  44. I pee in the shower (come on, like you don’t!)
  45. I like the idea of baths better than I like *actual* baths
  46. I wear glasses for distance. I don’t *need* them (ie they’re not very strong), but I don’t like to drive at night without them
  47. For someone who lives at the beach, I don’t go to the beach very often. But I love to know that it’s RIGHT THERE if I want to :P
  48. (yes still going, a couple more snuck in!) I hate & loathe being patronised. You can fuck right off with that condescending bullshit
  49. I rarely get really angry. Annoyed, irritated, pissed off, sure. But genuinely angry takes a very special kind of badness
  50. I lived in London for about four years back in the day, the longest I have lived outside of Australia
  51. I’ve also lived in Amsterdam, Calgary, Galway… I feel like I’m missing at least one other, but I mentioned my appalling memory, right?
  52. While I’m on travel: 108+ cities in 38+ countries (more since I did this map):
    Where I have been?
  53. I had no date for the school formal. Towered over all the boys in heels: First time I said ‘fuck it’
  54. If I ever behave poorly in whatever way/s, I will beat myself up over it forever. Easier just to avoid doing it in the first place.
  55. Re 55: Of COURSE I’ve behaved poorly, done things I’m ashamed of. I don’t live easily with them: The discomfort is a good reminder
  56. I’m so not a cat person.
    BUT LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE KITTEN THAT CLAMBERED UP ON MY SHOULDER FOR CUDDLES OMG *doesn’t move forever*
  57. I really never get bored when left to my own devices: I can endlessly entertain myself
  58. To me “junk food” = ‘anything I can’t have in the house because I will eat it all’. E.g. macadamias: junk food, cashews: nope
  59. I have named my car (Royal Highness), my laptops (Simon, George) & my coffee machines (Carl, Calvin II).
    I mean, come on: who doesn’t?!
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When you know “I’m in love”

I’ve only been in love a few times and each time I ‘knew’ it differently. The realisation of love, the clarity of ‘I love you’ arrives for me in different ways. Sometimes a wave of everything that came before just catches up with me, sometimes some piercing emotion that almost lifts me off my feet.

I can romanticise those moments, but the one I remember most clearly, the one that perhaps shocked me the most was so very mundane, so ordinary.

I was in my late twenties, my man and I were at a friend’s place and he was showing us around his guest house. It was a large property, beautiful. I was wandering around, admiring the old world architecture, the view outside to rolling green lawns.

I was in the kitchen. Of course I didn’t cook, was never the domestic type, was only half paying attention to our host when I opened a cupboard, just because. I looked at the plates, I haven’t a clue now what they looked like any more, but had the very boring thought, “When we have our house, THIS is the crockery I want.”

Having a thought about crockery at all was weird enough to cause a brain-flicker, to glitch for a microsecond with a ‘what?!’ But in that moment, I had a flash of our future, loved up and living together, domestic and happy, and it just happened that that plate was the trigger that caused that image to make itself clear in my head.

I had NEVER thought about the future with any previous partners, I just… didn’t do that. Ever. And for it to manifest in such a very ordinary domestic kind of way was a shock in and of itself.

My next thought was ‘oh shit, I love him… OH SHIT, I LOVE HIM!’

It was hardly some ‘hearts and flowers’ kind of Harlequin romance moment, but that’s exactly how it struck me: Standing shell-shocked in someone’s kitchen with a plate in my hand.

Scared the hell out of me to be honest.

If you care to share, I would love to hear your stories of ‘when you knew you were in love’, present or past.

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History revisited

Last year I received this email out of the blue.

I hope that you might by chance remember me… We met online some years ago, 90’s. Your tag was SweetAs… I asked you what you were Sweet as and your reply was chocolate ice cream melting on a summer day. My name is [redacted]. You and I enjoyed a lot of correspondence. Your first website had pixel that could be clicked on to see the hidden pages. I have searched your name a number of times and was lucky enough to find what you had on amazon.

You changed my life. I wanted to connect with you. If you don’t remember I will understand.

*smile* Of course I remembered him.

His nick was ‘colorado’, not because he was in Colorado. He wasn’t, though he was in the US.

He was my first exploration into BDSM some 20+ years ago. Online only. In the days when there was no skype, no digital cameras, no web cams. The days when international phone calls were exorbitantly expensive and long haul flights were unthinkable.

We met on IRC, were involved online-only for maybe a year.

He was my first submissive, before I ever made it out into the physical BDSM world: He was the one I explored with, the one I found my feet with, the one I initially felt my way with.

He was smart, eager, funny, cheeky, incredibly sweet. The thought of how we were makes me smile still.

I learnt lessons with him, about myself, about BDSM, about the incredible hotness of having someone who would do as I say, about how D/s builds intimacy, about how power works. I got so very lucky with him.

The most valuable lesson I learnt was to be kinder. I was newly exploring and testing my power back then (my recollection of myself was almost a stereotype), and while I didn’t feel as if I was particularly harsh, at one stage he disappeared from me. I was devastated (I suspect he thought I didn’t/wouldn’t care). When he reappeared, he said he left because he never felt as if he had pleased me or made me happy and that was very difficult for him. I hadn’t even realised. I was glad to learn that lesson so early on.

Well, I thought I learnt that lesson, but apparently I had to learn it multiple times before it sank in: I heard the same thing from my First after the fact. Apparently I am a slow learner.

It was a shock and a delight to hear from him.

I search on your name at least once a year. You have never left my thoughts… It was just a deep desire to reconnect and thank you for a gift I don’t think that you knew that you provided me. You were the first and actually most sincere woman I ever submitted to. Even if it was virtually.

I stepped out into the real world towards the end of our relationship, he was a significant contributor to my desire and confidence to do that. But once you add physical touch into the mix, online interactions lose their lustre. As they should I suppose. And soon after, we lost touch.

Of all the things, he wanted to know if it was real.

The most complete I had ever felt. So powerful and it was just via text… In finding you again it strikes me that there was a piece of me given away to you and in some way I needed to connect to know it was real. I am happy to know it was and I am happy to know that I offered you something you enjoyed and it was memorable.

*smile* Yes, it was real. Valuable, powerful.

And thank you for giving me that.

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Happy Femdom Story: Melusine

I received a lovely email and a link to a happy femdom story in my inbox recently. I am always so delighted to get stories about happy F/m relationships and am thrilled that Melusine is allowing me to share it with you.

Melusine wrote:

First I would like to say your blog has been invaluable to me, as I am exploring the wonderful life of becoming a 24/7 domme with my husband of ten years. It is perhaps a somewhat unique story, and thought you might enjoy it as a “happy femdom story”. I have published it here in a blog I began in order to record my experiences.

Thank you for your writings, they have helped me immensely.

I enjoyed this wonderful story so very much and I’m sure my readers will also: Thank you for sharing it *happy sigh*.

Enjoy.

Author: Melusine Waters

True Nature Revealed: Domme Self Discovery

It was probably around four in the morning when the phone had been silent for a few minutes. I heard an almost inaudible answer when I asked if the boy on the other end of the line was still awake. He was hundreds of miles away. Sleep was something neither of us needed as much as we needed each other. I needed his devotion to me, to know he was waiting by his phone until I called, to know he went to incredible lengths just to contact me. I needed this odd feeling, something I had no words for. His timid shyness awoke a predatory urge in me, he was mine as a rabbit is a tiger’s prey. I had him entirely in my hands. And yet… I didn’t.

We were very young, I was about 18 and he was 15, and our relationship was quite platonic (as far as he knew). He lived across the country and we wrote letters for nearly a year before I caught him in my web, then we talked by telephone every day. For years we called one another, staying up for hours on the phone, and as time passed we both started to grow into young adults. He began to make friends, then he had a girlfriend, and I started to have boyfriends of my own, but our friendship and long conversations by telephone never ceased. While his world began to open in front of him and his experiences and relationships grew, I felt helplessly and deeply that I wanted him all to myself. I wanted to create our own secret place where I could keep him hidden from the world, to exist only for myself and for my pleasure.

I concealed these feelings for a very long time. These thoughts were “controlling” and “crazy”, “unhealthy”. Meanwhile I began engaging in destructive and meaningless relationships. I had no idea what a “domme” was, and I certainly couldn’t understand that these impulses inside of me, my instincts towards my boy, were manifestations of our suppressed dynamic. I lived my adolescent life without this awareness and suffered years of profound torment, confusion and chaos. Now after more than a decade since this boy and I met, entirely by accident, we have discovered our true nature.

The day when I finally told my boy that I loved him I knew very little of how he felt toward me. We were both in long term relationships when I told him and then suddenly, with only a few words, the world as it had existed began to shift. Separated by mountains, plains, rivers and countless miles, our spirits, awakened by my affirmation, summoned our union. No long roads could possibly separate us, no force of man or nature or time would bar our path.

The old realms of our existence quickly began to dissolve and within months.. we were finally united. He was barely eighteen then. “I want you here.” I said and he obeyed. Our relationship was still platonic but when he arrived we began exploring our desires for each other. His unique reaction to my touch and to my voice, the look in his eyes, the surrender of his control, I would find nearly a decade later, was the other half of our unknown nature.

I procured our apartment, furnished it, and waited until he arrived. I imagined my dreams of him, my boy pet, in my apartment and hidden from the world. He was (and still is) an amazingly beautiful creature. It began to feel like I had captured a myth, and I wanted him to belong to me. Religion, a male dominated society and popular culture, however, had corrupted my instincts. Truthfully, I was poisoned. What kind of person could feel this way? What demon inside me would desire this? My very traditional religious upbringing forced me to concede to guilt and self doubt.

The strength of our bond endured despite this unnatural suppression but for ten years its effects had consequences for both of us. We were happy, but something wasn’t right. I tried desperately to fit the traditional role of the good submissive wife and my boy also tried to be the typical dominant male. We both suffered. We lived that way until only a few months ago, on New Year’s eve.

We were lying in bed talking, waiting for the clock to strike midnight when the conversation turned and he began to act very self conscious. After much prodding, he admitted very shyly that he would like me to “tell him what to do”. Suddenly my mind and heart were racing.

“Like… all the time?” I asked instinctively, my heart beating faster.

“…yes,” he replied softly, reluctant with his face buried in my shoulder.

We explored this idea for hours, well into the morning. We didn’t have words or names for it. He told me about a program he had heard on the radio that had passingly mentioned a kind of relationship where one person has complete control over the other, all the time. They were called “Dominant” and “Submissive”. It seems almost impossible that we had no language for this until now. These two words had extraordinary power and suddenly, for the second time in our lives together, a few simple words have triggered an immense transformation. The world as it had existed has again started to shift. This grand metamorphoses as it unfolds has slowly started to reveal our true forms and I realize now that even when we were very young, this primal magnetism had drawn us together against great odds and distances. Now we are finally free to explore each other fully. How strange and empowering, to have this beautiful, altered state of mind called subspace, described in detail, something he had experienced his whole life, yet something he couldn’t understand or name! How strange and empowering to have my boy fully surrender to me, after this long improbable adventure of ours and finally kneel at my feet like the pet I always envisioned him to be.

Again, the old realms of our existence are fading. I am finally confident that I can become the dominant woman of my fate and vision. We are taking it slowly. The curiosity and the exploration is electric with the life and desires that were hidden within us and we can now finally fulfil our roles that we were destined to experience together. We can finally be who we are, who we have always been, together.

___

This post is part of an ongoing project to share happy, positive femdom relationship stories. If you have a story that you are willing to share, I’d love to host it here. Please check out my call out post for details and send it on to me.

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e[lust] #94

Welcome to Elust 94

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #95 Start with the rules, come back June 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Always Coming Second

Balance

THREESOME – the card game

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

The #500words Project ~ 2

#Pussy Pride

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

No Eligible Posts

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

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